Episode Report Card
LTG: N/A | 1 USERS: B-
Have An Egg Roll, Mr. Hummel

In the music room, Puck is trying out his best pickup lines on Mercedes. "Girl, you got more curves than a Nissan ad." It's like he's channeling Larry from Three's Company. Mercedes is not impressed. Will enters and tells the kids it's time to start singing. Rachel jumps up to grab the first spot. She tells them she's going to sing "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus, since "it's about overcoming obstacles. In my case, the obstacle is you, my lackluster teammates who refuse to carry their own weight." You know, I feel like it's been quite a while since we've seen the Tracy Flick incarnation of Rachel. And then Rachel starts to sing -- horribly. Or, a little better than Miley Cyrus. The best thing, as always, are the reactions of the other kids. They all look pained. Except Brittany, who is smiling and nodding her head along to the music. Will interrupts the song to tell Rachel that she's lost her voice. And her panicked look takes us out to our first commercial.

One of the ads is for The Good Guys. I may have to watch that show, just because it's the first time in history that Bradley Whitford hasn't played a smug, self-satisfied, yuppie prick. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Kurt is inspecting his pores in a hand mirror at his locker when Sue walks up to him. "Hey, Ladyface. I noticed you weren't at Cheerios practice yesterday, and I don't look kindly on absenteeism." Kurt apologizes and blames his absenteeism on yesterday's emotional shock. And then he proceeds to explain that he's worried that he won't ever be close to his dad because he's gay. Kurt, just because Sue let you style her for a music video once doesn't mean you should share your feelings with her. Sue proves me right by asking Kurt how he could possibly know that he's gay since he's never kissed a boy or a girl. I don't know about Kurt, but I found the erections and wet dreams to be a pretty good indicator. Whoops, there I go with the oversharing. Anyway, back to Sue's rant: "You see, that's the problem with your generation, you're obsessed with labels. So you like show tunes. That doesn't mean you're gay, it just means you're awful! You know, there's only one person in this world who can tell you what you are." And all those after school specials and self-esteem filmstrips were lying to you -- it's not you, it's Sue Sylvester. And, she tells Kurt, she hasn't quite made up her mind about him. Kurt gets a brainstorm -- he can use the Glee Club assignment to somehow solve his problem. Sue: "Yeah, you know what, I checked out of this conversation about a minute back. So, good luck with your troubles, and I'm gonna make it a habit not to stop and talk to students 'cause this has been a colossal waste of my time." As she walks away, a couple of Cheerios throw themselves out of her way. Bye, Sue. See you in thirty minutes.

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