Episode Report Card
LTG: N/A | 1 USERS: B-
Have An Egg Roll, Mr. Hummel

Cut to Kurt's basement bedroom/fashionable SoHo studio. Burt, in flannel shirt and jeans, comes down the stairs at Kurt's request. Kurt emerges into view -- baggy jeans, flannel shirt, down vest, and some kind of hideous cap on his head. He was looking for Burt's thoughts on his song choice -- "Pink Houses," by John Mellencamp. Burt is a calmer person than I am, because he neither faints nor does he ask what this impersonator has done with the real Kurt. Instead, his eyes pop open a little wider for a second, and then he notes that he didn't think the song was really in Kurt's wheelhouse. But Kurt thinks he should support a Midwestern guy who wrote a song about such bold interior decoration ideas. Burt tells him that the song is really about how the '80s were a tough decade. Kurt suggests they go for a couple of burgers and talk more about it. Burt: "Sure, but I gotta be honest with you. That's pretty much what every Mellencamp song is about. But you know, I'll get my coat. Anything to help you out." Kurt looks actually happy as his father walks away.

Doctor's office. Rachel is there, in a gown, lying back on the exam table. My God, one of her gay fathers could pass as Finn's identical twin. No, wait, that actually is Finn. Which makes me wonder where Rachel's dads are. You know, let's just pretend that Terri has kidnapped them and has them locked in a basement somewhere. Not only does it explain their absence here, it also explains why we haven't seen our psychotic little princess for more than 30 seconds in six episodes. Rachel is terrified that the doctor will tell her that she'll never sing again, because without her voice she's nothing. Finn tells her that there are actually many awesome things about her -- but then he can't actually name any. But just as Finn tells Rachel that the doctor is very unlikely to tell her she'll never sing again, the doctor walks in and tells her that she'll never sing again. But he's just joking. Actually, she has tonsillitis and an inner-ear infection. He's able to tell that this has actually happened many times in the past -- but I guess only at those times that Rachel had absolutely no reason to sing for a week or so at a time, or she would have gone through this all when she lost her voice some other time. He tells her that her tonsils should come out, but she doesn't want to let him butcher her throat and possibly ruin her singing voice. He tells her to take some antibiotics, "unless you think they're going to adversely affect your dance moves." Rachel asks Finn what he thinks she should do. He suggests asking her boyfriend. I suggest asking her fathers. Although at least the show has bothered to think of an excuse for Jesse's absence from this scene and this entire episode -- it's spring break week at his old high school, and he's gone on vacation with some of his friends. Finn asks Rachel if she really thinks Jesse will stick around if she turns out to be "a vocal cripple." Rachel tells him that she cares about Jesse deeply and knows that the feeling is reciprocal. And then she goes behind a curtain to change, giving Finn a chance to see her naked silhouette. While singing "Jessie's Girl."

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