Episode Report Card
LTG: N/A | 1 USERS: B-
Have An Egg Roll, Mr. Hummel

In the hallway at school, Puck is boring Mercedes and me with his chatter about the revolutionary nature of some feature in Super Mario Brothers 3. Not only is it supremely nerdy, but my personal nerds tell me that he's wrong -- the thing he's talking about is from some other game. Mercedes tells him that she agreed to date him because of his great arms and the serious musical chemistry that they share, but that she has needs beyond hearing about his video game theories. Namely, right now she needs a frozen coffee drink. Which he realizes actually means he should get her one. As he walks away, he notices that Jewfro averts his gaze. So Puck throws him against the wall and asks why he didn't look at Puck. Jewfro explains that it's because dating Mercedes has made Puck so cool that everyone is terrified of him. "Some of the guys who threw you in the dumpster actually transferred today out of fear of retaliation." Puck looks happy but surprised -- although, wasn't this his plan all along? It's either bad writing, or Puck is dimmer than I thought. You be the judge. Puck is so happy he doesn't beat Jewfro up, but he does steal his lunch money to use to buy Mercedes her coffee drink.

Puck walks down the hall, and Mercedes has noticed his treatment of Jewfro. As has Santana. So Mercedes calls Santana on her cell phone and the two of them walk down the hall and sing "The Boy is Mine" to each other. Or with each other. The song moves back and forth from classrooms and hallways to the music room, where at first they seem to be singing just to Puck. But then we see them singing the song for the entire Glee Club. So, for one of them, this song is the song that represents her true voice? I might actually believe that about Santana. And then at the end, there's a little pushing and shoving, which Will breaks up. That song was just crazy weird. Although Puck sure enjoyed it. Commercials.

Dumpster. Puck and some other meatheads have the nerds queued up into a dumpster-tossing assembly line, throwing them in one after the other. Mercedes sees him and asks what the hell he's doing, and he tells her that he's restoring the school's natural order. She doesn't like it, but he tells her she has to accept it, since the two of them are part of the system that requires that nerdy kids be thrown into trash receptacles. I think that system is based on the writings of Locke and Rousseau.

Okay, so here it is. The crap scene that makes me want to vomit until I die from dehydration and/or the destruction of my esophagus, whichever comes first. Finn and Rachel are at the home of Finn's Magical Cripple... I mean, Magical Handicapable friend. He's a guy Finn knew in football camp who one day got hit and suffered a C4 spinal injury, which means he's lost all feeling from about his shoulders down. Rachel wants to know why Finn brought her there. Oh, I don't know, maybe to ambush you and make you feel like a shitty person? And to make his friend feel like Cousin Geri, starring in her own After School Special? No, the real point is that Shawn (the Magical Handicapable dude) thought he had nothing but football until the day he lost it, after which he discovered that he had other things to live for. Including singing. Rachel goes from being totally freaked out when she first gets there to really appreciating the lesson learned from Magical Handicapable dude. Commercials.

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