Glee
Mash-Off

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Mash-Off

Next comes our dear little Brit-Brit, who delivers a stirring stump speech decrying the dark tornado menace now threatening this great land of ours before vowing to declare tornadoes and their murderous rampages illegal at McKinley High. And then she promises to go topless every Tuesday if she wins, which brings her a standing ovation from the crowd. Brit-Brit's followed by St. Gay Of Lima, who has both the unbelievable gall and the astonishing stupidity to equate dodgeball with stoning -- which no, and not even, and never, and shut the fuck up, you self-righteous twat -- and then Rachel steps up to the microphone to announce she's withdrawing from the race and throwing her support behind the dour, ignorant scold who spoke immediately before her. Absolutely no one cares.

Well, except for St. Gay Of Lima, apparently, who approaches Rachel at her locker after the assembly to thank her, more or less, and with their friendship thus restored, the two link arms to amble off into this evening's next commercial break, and could we get back to that whole outing thing, again? Please?

Crap. For whatever reason, they've taken it upon themselves to give us a little more Crazy Quinn, instead, so I'll keep this brief: Crazy Quinn materializes on Idina Menzel's doorstep, Idina Menzel reads her the riot act for what should be painfully obvious reasons by now, Crazy Quinn calls Idina Menzel a whore, Idina Menzel tells Crazy Quinn to fuck off, and Crazy Quinn leaves. Next!

McKinley High. Becky runs up to Santana to summon her to Sue's office, now, and when Santana saunters in, she finds the bleak-looking trio of Burt Hummel, Mr. Schue, and Sue waiting for her. "What's going on?" Santana quite rightly wonders. Sue quietly suggests she take a seat, and proceeds to admit, "I'm afraid we have some bad news, and I think I might be to blame." "In my campaign," she explains, "I've said some things that are not true, and I don't feel good about it." "I set the tone," Sue continues, "and now I'm afraid my slanderous chickens have come home to roost." At this point, Mr. Schue offers Santana the phone number of a counselor he knows while Burt Hummel volunteers to speak with her parents, as he has first-hand knowledge of what her family must be going through at the moment. "What are you talking about?" Santana frowns, and the adults present finally get to the point, with Burt Hummel revealing that Reggie "The Sauce" Salazar forwarded him an advance copy of the pizza baron's next campaign ad. "Turns out he has a niece who goes to this school," Sue notes, "and she overheard a conversation a couple of days ago between you and Finn Hudson." Santana's face falls as Burt Hummel hits Play on Sue's VCR, and it turns out Reggie Salazar's decided to attack Sue by attacking her commitment to "family values," using "lesbian student" Santana's promotion to head cheerleader as the primary example of the questionable choices Sue has made as of late in both her professional and her personal lives. The ad instantly reduces Santana -- whose image is prominently featured at several points -- to tears, and she blurts out, "I can't believe this is happening -- I haven't even told my parents yet!" before racing out of the room, down the hall, and into...

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Glee

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