Glee

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Attack Of The Singing Bush Baby

Emma's office. Finn and Quinn have stopped by, and Emma's naturally curious to hear why the king and queen of the school have stopped by for a consultation. Quinn tells her they need tips on how to be cool. Finn: "Yeah, you must have picked up some ideas about what cool people do from watching them over the years." Emma lets that slide past, and asks them why it's important for them to be cool. They don't deny that they enjoy Glee, but Quinn notes that "status is like currency. When your bank account is full, you can get away with doing just about anything." But being in Glee has destroyed their popularity credit scores. Quinn: "When my mom applied to college, she put being popular as her main extracurricular activity, and she got into Arizona State." While she's talking, Will is outside the glass wall, miming to Emma that their dance lesson will start in five minutes. He's wearing sunglasses as he does so, and Emma ends up whimpering about how sunglasses are sexy -- much to the confusion of Finn and Quinn. Emma recovers and notes that cool movie stars are always wearing sunglasses, so they must be cool. Finn: "It's like you can't see their eyes, so they have all the power. I could be looking at your boobs and you'd have no idea." Oh, Finn. Sometimes you are dumber than a flock of Palins. Quinn elbows him while Emma casts a worried glance at her own breasts. And then Emma becomes sane again and tells them the most important thing is to be themselves, and screw anybody who doesn't like it.

Will pushes tables around to make room to dance while Emma walks down the hallway. She's wearing a wedding dress -- and it goes on and on and on, with a train that's longer than the Amtrak local. She enters the room, and explains to Will that the dress belongs to her cousin Betty, who was (along with Emma) obsessed with Princess Di. She's wearing the dress because Betty didn't wear her dress for her pre-wedding dance practice, and as a result her husband stepped on the train, they had a fight at the reception, the priest cried, and the marriage failed after three months. She starts to rethink wearing this cursed wedding dress, but Will tells her it makes sense to see how she'll move in the dress. His plan is to start with Ken's song and then try to work in Emma's choice. And then Will starts singing and dancing to "The Thong Song." And these hardly seem like lessons that she'll be able to use with Ken, mostly because they involve her standing still while Will gyrates around her. And when he tries to bring her into the dance, she trips over the train and falls on top of her. Which is awkward for them, but even more awkward for Ken, who is watching through one of the omnipresent glass walls.

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Glee

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