Finn and Quinn walk down the hallway, wearing enormous sunglasses. They blow smoke up each other's asses about how normal and healthy it is to want to be popular. And then they turn the corner and find half the football team waiting with slushies in their hands. And then the other half of the team surrounds F&Q from behind. One player asks Finn if he's thirsty. Finn: "Sure, thanks." I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- dumber than a flock of Palins. So the entire team throws slushies at Finn and Quinn. And at a couple of bucks a slushie, that is a relatively expensive cruel prank. Finn tells the guys they can't throw slushies at him. The only player with lines tells him it'll get even worse if he doesn't show up for practice on Thursdays and quit Glee: "Bros before hi-hos." What could be worse? Are they going to throw solid chunks of ice and bottles of syrup at him? As the players walk past Finn and Quinn, one of them slips on the slushie residue and falls on his ass. It's the little things that make me happy.
Sue's Corner. "I've heard people say 'That's not how I define marriage.' Well, to them I say, 'Love knows no bounds.' Why can't people marry dogs? I'm certainly not advocating intimacy with your pets. I for one think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once, and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling. So 'woof' on Prop 15, Ohio. And that's how Sue 'C's it." Sue throws it back to the anchor, and he throws it to commercial. During the break, Rod the anchor spritzes some Binaca as he approaches Sue. He's undeterred by her rather hostile declaration that he still smells of Scotch. Rod: "You know, Sue, there's a lot of pressure being a local celebrity. Most women find me intimidating -- the teeth, the hair. It's a lot to take in, and I know it. I need a gal with a little backbone, and I think you just might be that gal." That's where you're wrong Rod -- Sue's got a giant backbone. It's why she's so tall. Sue asks about Rod's wife, and he tells her that she drowned recently. Which means he's got the condo all to himself. Rod and his '70s hair invite Sue out for the perfect '70s date of fondue. And she agrees. Is that a smile I see on Sue's face? A smile not tinged with bitter hatred? I'm a little scared. Come hold me, Puck.
Some swing music starts to play, and we're clearly off in some fantasy sequence, because Sue is swing dancing with Will. And not trying to choke him or kick him in the crotch. But as it ends, we learn that it's not a fantasy. They're laughing and smiling and getting along. Will tells Sue that when she first asked for dance lessons, he feared it was some kind of horrible trap. But she tells him that after a single date, she's in love.