Will is putting away chairs in the music room when Rachel enters. He asks her how the captaincy is going. Rachel: "I think that my unanimous election gave me a very strong mandate to shake things up." And then Will assigns her very first job as captain -- to find a co-captain. Rachel looks a touch insulted, but Will smooths it over: "You have so many great ideas, there's no reason you shouldn't have some help pushing 'em through." Rachel: "I could use a trusty lieutenant, I do have over 65 proposals." So now Rachel is on the hunt for a co-captain.
First she asks Mercedes, who can't because she's too busy with early Kwanza preparations. Artie, backed into a corner, points out that in order for him and Rachel to appear in a photo together, she'll have to lean over, which will make it appear as though she has stomach rolls. Rachel trails after Britney in the hallway, claiming that being co-captain is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Brit-Brit: "I don't want to be in a picture with you. It'll get defaced." Rachel: "No it won't." Brit-Brit: "I'll be the one doing it." And that leads her to Finn. After a long back-and-forth, she finally guilts him into doing it by pointing out that if morale doesn't improve in the club, they won't even place at sectionals. Yay for guilt! Commercials.
Rachel is dragging Finn into the music room, which has several musicians (of the instrumental variety) hanging out. Rachel, to Finn: "I totally understand that as captain of the football team, you've worked really hard to project an appearance of steely toughness." Really? "Steely toughness" aren't the first words I associate with Finn. "Mentally-challenged cuddliness," perhaps. But not "steely toughness." Anyway, Rachel thinks that for the Glee Club photo, Finn needs to be able to give the perfect cheerful smile. And to get him in the mood, she's going to sing a song with him that will apparently teach him how to smile (but not smize). And that song is Lily Allen's "Smile." How the hell did Rachel rope Tinkles and the Music Room Quintet into this gig? It's a very sweet performance, and I did enjoy the several close-ups of Tinkles generally rolling his eyes at the whole thing. Although I'm ashamed on his behalf that he was smiling by the end. Don't lose your edge, Tinkles!
And now it's the locker room, where a couple of overly large dudes throw Finn up against a locker and start writing on his face with a marker. They're practicing for when it's time to deface his picture in the 'Clap. Finn fights back, but they tell him to suck it up, because "the system was put in place to keep order around here." Thanks, Big Brother. (Which I mean both figuratively and literally -- the brother is big, is what I'm saying.) Big Brother tells Finn he can have the choice of a Hitler mustache or buck teeth. The other player asks the room at large how to spell "loser," since he plans to write it on Finn's forehead. Big Brother: "Big ol' potato-head. You could write a haiku on that thing." Ha!