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The Princess And The Peabrain

Photo time. Rachel's there, and Finn is not. The photographer wants to get on with it. Rachel bitterly declares that she'll do the picture herself. She's trying to smile, but not having much luck. So she calls a time-out and gives herself a pep talk (via internal monologue) in a conveniently placed mirror. "Snap out of this. Stop being defined by what other people think of you. Or how they disappoint you. It's lonely at the top, you know that. What's that song about overcoming professional and personal disappointments? Oh yeah, 'When you're smiling, when you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you." Rachel, I hope you do a better job of overcoming professional and personal disappointment than Judy Garland did. Rachel is now ready for her close-up, Mr. Photographer. He snaps a couple of pix and stops, causing Rachel to complain that she practiced over eighteen different poses for the shoot, including several "over the left shoulder" poses. Unfortunately, the photographer can't stick around, as he has a casting session to run in half an hour. Rachel pricks up her ears at hearing the magic words, and asks what the casting session is for. It's for a commercial that the photographer is directing. Rachel breaks down in tears, and the photographer quickly offers to take a few more photos. Rachel snaps her head up: "I can cry on demand. It's one of my many talents. I'm very versatile, and aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I'll pretty much do anything to break into the business." Photographer tells her that while she seems talented, he needs a bunch of other actors for all of the speaking parts. Rachel: "I can help with that."

Music room. Rachel calls the emergency Glee Club meeting to order, just as Finn walks in. He tries to explain about the harassment he faced, but she really doesn't care. As Finn sits down, he feels his head and asks Quinn, "Do you think I have a potato head?" Rachel tells the others that she realizes they all think Glee Club is a joke that can't win and they're content to just kill time until Figgins cancels the club. But, says Rachel, "I'm about to present to you a rare opportunity." The opportunity to sell Amway? No, "the opportunity to become stars." She explains that they've all been cast in a local commercial, which will make them celebrities: "And nobody messes with celebrities. Or defaces their pictures." Tell that to Perez Hilton. They all seem happy, and then they seem unnaturally happy when they realize it's a commercial for mattresses. I don't understand kids these days. Commercials.

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