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The Princess And The Peabrain

It's time for Sue's Corner. Her insane diatribe this week is just a request for day each year during which she doesn't have to see any fatties or uglies. She thinks it should be the day after Christmas. Did the person who wrote Sue's lines quit the show? Because she hasn't been very funny the last few episodes. Just mean. And while Mean Sue is okay, what we really want is Mean and Funny Sue. Anyway, as the newscast cuts to commercial and Sue leaves the studio, she tells Rod's co-anchor Andrea that her Sue's Corner was directed at her. And then Sue hears an annoying but familiar voice. It's Rachel, delivering a voice-over for the Mattressland commercial, talking about how fun it can be to buy a mattress while we see the Glee Kids singing and dancing around the mattress store. Sue looks thoughtful.

Sue walks down the school hallway, when Quinn approaches and says that they have to talk. Quinn wants to be a Cheerio again before the photo (which is tomorrow). Sue: "Oh, is that what you want? Well, what I wanted was a head cheerleader who wasn't going to hoist her legs behind her ears in the back seat of the first station wagon she could jimmy open, throwing away any chance she ever had in life." Okay, that was a little funny. Quinn thinks it would be good for the school to see that appearances don't matter and that everyone can overcome a little diversity, two lessons she learned in Glee Club. Sue thinks Quinn must have learned those things "right after the lesson on how to disqualify yourselves from Sectionals." Sue's referring to the commercial. Also, was Quinn's big plan just to ask Sue for her position back and then try to argue as to why it would be the moral thing to do? Does she not know Sue at all?

Principal's office. Figgins is telling Will that Sue's right -- the Glee Club has disqualified themselves from competition by going pro. Will claims he didn't even know about the commercial. Sue: "Of course you didn't, Will. You wouldn't know if your Glee Club was using your office to breed rabbits for pets or food. You know why? You're too busy chasing tail and loading your hair with enormous amounts of product. I mean, today it just looks like you put lard in it." Okay, a little more funny. Will defends the commercial as an effort by the kids to foster a sense of unity, an innocent mistake. Sue: "And what if I were to just innocently murder you, Will? I'd still have to go to trial." That would be the trial of the century. Sue pulls out her ever-handy copy of the Ohio Show Choir Rulebook and quotes the rule that says that payment for services rendered makes you a pro. Will claims the kids weren't paid, but Sue points out the stack of mattresses "piled as high as the stack of empty hair gel bottles piled in the dumpster outside [Will's] apartment." Will says they can return the mattresses. But Figgins knows that one of the mattresses was used and is therefore non-returnable. Sue asks why Will has a soiled mattress in his office, asking if he and Emma have become "so sexually depraved that you have to commit your craven acts of adultery in between classes?" Will admits to sleeping in his office, and then tells them that he's thinking of leaving Terri. Sue: "Well I didn't see that one coming at all." Figgins tells him that whatever personal issues he's having, he broke the rules, and Glee Club is over. Which Sue repeats with a lot more venom and bile in her voice. Commercials.

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