The girls of the Troubletones are upset that they missed their chance to perform the songs of Michael Jackson, so New Directions decides to prepare some more MJ for Regionals. But they don't count on Blaine stupidly spilling the beans to Sebastian, who convinces the Warblers to steal New Directions' thunder by singing some MJ before their rivals can. The two groups decide to settle things with the second gayest musical rumble ever filmed, which Sebastian ends by slushying Blaine. Unfortunately, this particular slushy scratches Blaine's cornea, necessitating surgery. This leads to an enraged group of teen singers (Artie in particular) looking for ways to get revenge. Kurt convinces Santana that violence is not the way to go, so she cleverly tapes a recorder to her underboob and records a confession from Sebastian in which he admits to putting rock salt in the slushy. But Kurt decides that even getting Sebastian expelled is too much (allegedly because he wants to beat Sebastian, not just get even with him), so he invites the Warblers to McKinley to be sung to. And New Directions is so good that all the Warblers but Sebastian joining them on stage.
And a few other minor things happen. Mercedes and Sam kiss. Quinn gets admitted to Yale. Kurt is a finalist for the fictional theater school. Rachel, who's already reeling from Finn's unexpected proposal, doesn't hear from said school when Kurt does, leading to lots of tears. And to her accepting Finn's proposal. (Yes, you read that right. Stupid teenagers.) And then, at the very end, Rachel gets her stupid letter telling her she's a finalist. Whatever will she do?
Featuring a shitload of Michael Jackson (or Jackson Five) songs, including: "Bad," performed by New Directions and the Warblers; "Ben, performed by Kurt, Rachel, and Finn; "Black or White," performed by New Directions; "Human Nature," performed by Mercedes and Sam; "I Just Can't Stop Loving You," performed by Finn and Rachel; "Never Can Say Goodbye," performed by Quinn; "Scream," performed by Artie and Mike Chang; "Smooth Criminal," performed by Sebastian and Santana; and "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'," performed by Blaine and the New Directions.
Watch the hosts of Hulu's The Morning After Show rank the songs in this episode:
Just to get this out of the way -- yes, Michael Jackson may or may not have molested kids. Not having been there, I don't really know. I do know that he became royally fucked up as he turned from that cute little boy into the freak show we saw him become, and anybody who contributed to that should feel really guilty. I also know, as this episode reminded me, that he has lots of great music in his catalog. So let's dive right in.
Stairwell. Santana (accompanied by fellow Troubletones Mercedes and Brit-Brit) tell Blaine and Kurt that the only reason New Directions won at Sectionals was because Tickles the Clown was high as a kite, but Kurt thinks it's really because New Directions performed the music of Michael Jackson (forgetting to mention that their performance featured the music of some other Jacksons, but whatevs). Mercedes is pissed because that Sectionals performance was apparently the one and only time this year the glee club will be allowed to perform Michael. Mr. Schue breaks into the conversation (which is still all in the hallway) to tell them that they could do some more Michael at Regionals. If he's already thinking about songs for Regionals, doesn't that mean the competition is tomorrow? Anyway, Blaine has the perfect idea for the MJ song they could perform at Regionals. And then he and his yellow pants break into "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'," right there in the hallway. And then on into the library, picking up the rest of New Directions (sans Sugar Motta). And then to the stage, where everybody is wearing Michael-appropriate costumes, including a spangly jacket for Blaine. Everybody gets a small dance solo (and Kurt is looking fine in some black leather pants -- the show's going to have to address the fact that he's turning into sex on a stick). And there are a couple of random dancers doing flips all over the stage. And then it's the title card.
Finn approaches Rachel in the hallway, telling her that it's been three days to the minute since he proposed to her, which is the amount of time she said it would take her to give him an answer. Rachel, you were supposed to use those three days to get him committed... or at least to get his mother to talk some sense into him. Instead of telling him how stupid he's being, she hems and haws about this not being the kind of decision you can make so quickly. Especially when you're STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL! She also reassures him that she loves him and wants to marry him "someday," but that he's pushing things really fast, and she doesn't get why. He points out that even if she doesn't get into Fictional Drama School, she's still going to move to New York, and she reminds him that she wants him to come with her. Finn just thinks their life together will be easier if they're wearing wedding rings. She starts to give him her answer, and he stops her and asks her to take a couple more days to think about it.