Lima Bean. A bunch of the glee kids are sitting around a table, and Blaine asks them all to share their favorite Michael Jackson memory. Since they were all born in the early to mid-'90s, I don't quite buy that these kids would have any memories of Michael Jackson, unless he opened a branch of the Neverland Ranch in Ohio and had some of them over for sleepovers. Artie and Kurt share some memories, and then Rachel throws cold water on the party by telling them that she never really got MJ. Artie and Kurt are bumfuzzled, but she defends herself by noting that she agrees he's an amazing performer, but she's "never bonded with him the way I have with Barbra or either of the Stephens." To Artie's quizzical glance, she clarifies: "Sondheim. Schwartz." To ward off Santana's threats of violence, Rachel agrees that some MJ might be the right idea for Regionals, since everybody else is so excited. And then Sebastian comes over to their table and tells them it's not such a great idea because the Warblers are doing MJ at Regionals. And they're doing MJ at Regionals precisely because they're performing first, and Sebastian thought it would be a good idea to mess with New Directions. Rachel asks how he knew that New Directions was planning a Jackson number, and Sebastian tells them that he learned it from Blaine just that morning during a little early morning phone chat. Blaine, you are so busted. Santana thinks it's time to show Sebastian a little Lima Heights hospitality, but he tells her it's probably not that good an idea, since his father is the state's attorney. How the hell does an Ohio prosecutor earn enough to send Blaine to Dalton? And if his father works for the state, what was Blaine doing living in Ohio. I'm calling shenanigans! Anyways, Sebastian tells them, "I'm captain of the Warblers now, and I'm tired of playing nice." What happened to the council? Did he stage a coup?
The kids all storm into the music room, trying to think of some way to reclaim MJ for their own performance. Blaine points out that they had their entire set list stolen for their first Sectionals and still managed to win that, so this should be no big deal. But Artie thinks the theft of Michael is a lot worse than stealing Dreamgirls or Journey. Puck's not sure he wants to have this conversation with Blaine, that "modern-day Eggs Benedict" in the room. Finn suddenly makes up the fact that the Warblers are the second best glee club in the state (after Vocal Adrenaline, natch), so they really need to bring it if they want a chance to go to Nationals. He wants to figure out how to beat them. Will enters the room and agrees with him: "I'm less interested in our set list right now, and more interested in getting us in the right mindset to crush those guys." This is such a switch from all those other times that Will has been so worried about their set list. And speaking of consistent characterization, Will has a lesson for the week. It's "WWMJD." This episode would be more fun if he was asking what Mary J. would do. But no, it's "What would Michael Jackson do?" Um, hide out in a hyperbaric chamber on a remote ranch with Webster and a pet monkey? Finn and Artie disagree with me -- they think MJ would fight back, just like he did when MTV refused to show the video for "Billy Jean." Blaine thinks Michael would take it to the streets.