Glee
Michael

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There's No Need To Fear! Underboob Is Here!

Music room. Santana ushers everyone into the room, because she has something to discuss before Will arrives. She tells them that they've got the Warblers right where they want them, thanks to Artie, who "was able to find a spy store that sells top secret surveillance equipment." Artie corrects her: "Not top secret. I just got a tape recorder from Office Max." Regardless, Santana taped said recorder to her underboob and recorded Blaine's confession that there was rock salt in the Slushy. So now they have the proof they need to get Blaine expelled. Or sent to juvie, which is what Santana would like to see happen. Kurt doesn't want to do it. Santana: "Why? Kurt, this isn't violent, this is clever. I taped it to my underboob." Kurt thinks that getting Sebastian expelled won't stop the Warblers from performing Michael at Regionals. Kurt thinks they shouldn't seek revenge against everybody who does them wrong. "If Michael had spent all his time going after the haters, he never would have had time to do all that amazing music." Um, if he had spent all his time going after the haters, he might not have done some of the things that made people hate him. Just saying. Instead of getting revenge, Kurt has an idea to teach the Warblers a lesson, which requires repairing to the auditorium. Santana, as everyone leaves: "Wait, if Kurt would have taped this to his junk, I would have never heard the end of it. We would have had a whole week of songs about it." Brit: "True."

Before the room is completely empty, Finn asks Rachel to stay behind for a minute. She thinks he wants her answer, and he tells her he's just realized that he forgot to do something when he proposed. Which, I guess, was to sing her a song, because he sits her down and tells her he loves her and then sings "I Just Can't Stop Loving You." She joins in after the first verse or so. I think it's the best they've ever sounded together. And at the end, she accepts his proposal. Moron. Use this commercial break to think about how stupid these two are being.

Auditorium. New Directions enter the stage while the Warblers enter the audience. Sebastian insults public schools some more. And then Artie tells them that New Directions is giving up on performing Michael at Regionals. Sebastian calls them out for surrendering, but Kurt tells them they're sick of fighting and backstabbing when what they really want to do is sing. However, Artie points out that the Warblers can sing Michael, but they won't understand Michael. Kurt, nobody understands Michael. At least not when sober. Anyway, the McKinley kids are going to demonstrate that they understand Michael by singing "Black or White." After a couple of verses, Chubby Warbler gets up and joins them on stage, followed by all of the other Warblers except for Sebastian. Chubby Warbler, you always were my favorite. And then there's a gospel choir backing them up, and then some head-morphing close-ups of the New Directions. It's all quite inexplicable. After they finish, Sebastian gives a slow clap (the bad kind, not the good kind). One of the other Warblers tells him to give it up, but Sebastian accuses him of having the kind of attitude that loses Regionals. Santana points out that she could go to the cops or his headmaster, but he tells her he's not really scared of her since she doesn't have any evidence. So she pulls the tape out of her pocket (and not, alas, from her underboob) to let him know she has evidence of his confession. She hands it to Kurt, who tells Sebastian that it would be no fun to beat the Warblers without him. And then Kurt throws the tape to Sebastian. But, as Santana points out, at least now the other Warblers know what kind of guy Sebastian is.

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Glee

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