Lady Lips seems even more depressed than ever, but Brittany's already excitedly moved on, realizing, "My future looks bright -- I'm gonna graduate and go to Harvard, or Princetown, or Mitt, or Stanford And Son, or The University Of California At Charles Barkley's House, 'cause evidently, I'm one of the smartest people in America!" The Maharishi slowly buries his mortified face in his hands as Brit-Brit gives herself two enthusiastic thumbs up.
Fake Drama School In New York, Agonizingly Pretentious Student Film Division. The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway's just aced an audition for something called Come Back To Me, Grandmother: A Journey Into Alzheimer's, and she's now meeting with the film's absolutely unbearable director, a be-cloched senior who desperately wants us to believe her parents actually named her "Electra." The Horrible Hooker gushingly assures this Electra person that she'd be "honored" to embark upon "this adventure" with her, then clams up when this Electra person unexpectedly notes, "There is one thing -- you will have to be topless in the ballroom scene with Titus. It's not going to be a problem, is it?" Old Idiot Rachel blinks. Repeatedly.
A few moments later, the still-thrown Horrible Hooker Of Broadway shoves the film's script into her bag out in the hall while indulging in a little ego-boosting pep-talk. "I'm a strong and confident woman," she nods to herself, adding, "I'm the one who asked Brody to move in, I'm the one who almost made it out of Agent Provocateur without giggling, and let's face it: My breasts are my prizewinners." "You almost made it out," a voice behind her taunts, "but you didn't!" The Horrible Hooker whips around to find a primly-attired Season One version of herself smirking at her from the opposite end of the hallway, because that's how we're gonna roll these next couple of minutes, with The Horrible Hooker's conscience taking physical form for the All-Rachel, All-The-Time back-and-forth bickering that follows, and I gotta say: It really is a joy to have Season One Rachel back on the screen, as the present version of the character's been so loathsome so often as of late, I find it extremely difficult to sit through her scenes.