My Ancestral Homeland. Dean Geyer plants his gloriously naked derriere at St. Gay Of Lima's breakfast table, and when The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway joins them, an aghast St. Gay shrieks, "Your boyfriend's bare ass is on one of my vintage flea market chairs!" Honey, I hate to break this to you, but if you picked up those precious chairs of yours at a flea market in Brooklyn, I can guarantee they've had far worse than Dean Geyer's naked ass on them many, many times in the past. Trust me on this one.

In any event, Dean Geyer claims it's just his way of supporting The Horrible Hooker's decision to appear topless in that sure-to-be-wretched student film of hers, and needless to say, St. Gay is sickened and repulsed. "I don't get it!" he whines. "A year ago, you were all plaid skirts and 'Do you think Finn likes me?' and now you're Slutty Barbie, asking Misogynist Ken to move in with you and doing pornos. What's happening to you?" Okay, now listen up, you pissy little slur: You were the one who turned Rachel into Slutty Barbie in the first place, so SHUT THE FUCK UP. And as I can no longer bear St. Gay's presence on my television screen, I'll be hopping back over to...

...The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion, where we find New Puck answering an urgent summons from Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel, and because I still have no fucks to give as far as their tiresome relationship issues are concerned, I'll blow through the preliminary flirting noises they make at each other to note they then proceed to drone this boring piece of tuneless Twilight crap at each other for what seems like the next three thousand years, and when it's over, they kiss. Yawn. Also: Commercials.