...remarkably capacious dressing room to find Frankenteen and Idiot Rachel talking some more about their impending dunderheaded nuptials, and the only thing you need to know about the conversation that follows is that Frankenteen admits he bet that be-mulleted hockey jock who's supposed to be in a medically-induced coma five hundred dollars that New Directions would triumph at Nationals. Idiot Rachel is shocked and appalled, because that money was meant to pay for their idiot honeymoon in idiot Niagara Falls, but Frankenteen's certain everything will work out for the best. Everybody got that? Good. Moving on!

Mr. Schue takes a few moments to compose himself out in the hallway, then bounds into the remarkably capacious dressing room to offer the children a few final words of encouragement and advice. Fortunately, Frankenteen interrupts him. Unfortunately, Frankenteen interrupts him to deliver a speech about how super-fabulous Mr. Schue has been as a teacher over the last three years despite all evidence to the contrary, so I'll skip ahead to the bit where a miraculously recovered Mercedes swans into the remarkably capacious dressing room to sass, "Now, I know you weren't planning on doing a show circle without me!" Elation abounds, carrying the children directly into this episode's first commercial break.

Competition Auditorium. Beiste, Sue, Will and Emma take their seats, each expressing anxiety over the children's chances, with Will especially worried over the fact that New Directions is going first -- "the death slot," as he puts it -- and then the auditorium lights dim so Glee's usual Announcer Guy might get on the auditorium's sound system to welcome everyone to "The Forty-Eighth Annual National High School Show Choir Competition," which is being sponsored by a Chicago-area Chevrolet dealership that closed a dozen years ago. We are then introduced to this evening's special guest judges, who include Lindsay Lohan, Perez Hilton and Rex Lee. The latter guest judge is here meant to be playing "Martin Fong," the nonexistent alderman of the city's nonexistent fifty-first ward, but I suspect he'll always be Lloyd from Entourage for most people. The former guest judges are here meant to be playing members of the human race. Needless to say, they're failing miserably at it.