With all that over with, we duck behind the curtain to share a little last-minute pre-performance squee-filled moment with Santana, Brit-Brit and Quinn, and then Announcer Guy introduces the children, and it begins.

This first number -- little Steffi Germanotta's "Edge Of Glory" -- was initially meant to be performed solely by the fun-loving gals of Idina Menzel's now-defunct yet still-nurturing lady-choir, but Mercedes's momentary illness opened things up to include all of the lovely ladies of New Directions except for Idiot Rachel, along with quite a few anonymous backup dancers we've never seen before and shall never see again. Santana, Mercedes, Quinn and Single-T Tina share lead vocals, and the first time this aired, I was pretty much impressed with it all, even though it's just a straight-up cover of the original. However, upon rewatch, it becomes clear they're once again attempting to mask Amber Riley's inadequacies as a dancer with a lot of abrupt jump-cuts that obscure the choreography, to the detriment of the performance as a whole. The vocals are still first-class, of course, but the visuals end up leaving a lot to be desired. Also, I suppose I should note that despite her loud misgivings about them earlier in the episode, Quinn's formerly-squashy legs hold up just fine throughout, thank you very much. Almost as if she never had that asinine car accident in the first place, now that I think about it. Imagine that!

And when it's over, the audience offers them all a polite round of applause. Because, you know, they're going first, so nobody's been primed yet to give every single goddamned performance a standing ovation. Meanwhile Idiot Rachel sneaks a peek out at the seats from the wings, and to her dismay, she realizes Carmen Thibodeaux has yet to arrive. Frankenteen offers her a little pep talk -- this particular episode is dreadfully heavy on the pep talks -- so Idiot Rachel straightens her shoulders, takes a deep breath and...