Out in the hall, Quinn follows Sue's instructions to the letter by conducting a very loud and very public argument with her boyfriend between classes, all but forcing Sam to shout, "I'm not cheating on you with my football coach!" "Can we talk about this in private?" he pleads. "Why?" Quinn snots back. "Am I embarrassing you?" "It's not what you think!" Sam insists. "What I think," Quinn announces for any and all to hear, "is that I'm not putting out for you, so you're getting it wherever you can, including the locker room, with The Beiste." Coincidentally enough, The Beiste herself happens to be passing by at this very moment, and she goes, "What's this?" "'This,'" Quinn snots once again, "is a lovers' quarrel, and it's your fault!" "Watch your tone with me, missy!" Coach Beiste immediately retorts. "You crap on my leg, I'll cut it off!" Quinn whatevers and flounces off, allowing Gaylord an opportunity to storm up and order Coach Beiste away from his woman just as Mr. Schue arrives to witness all the hi-larious hijinks. "What the hell's going on around here?" Coach Beiste growls before stalking off. "What is going on?" Mr. Schue repeats. Another asinine subplot? Oh, sorry -- my bad. It's actually another commercial break.

And while we were gone, Mr. Schue somehow managed to browbeat the truth out of Lady Lips and Gaylord, and he now berates them for using Coach Beiste as some sort of boner-killing anti-fantasy. "What if Coach Beiste were to find out about it?" he seethes. "Think about how hurt she'd be!" "It's not personal," Sam lamely counters. "Of course it's personal!" Mr. Schue spits. He argues that Coach Beiste is as much of an outsider at the school as the Glee Club is, noting that no one appreciates her or her talent "because they decided that she's too different." "And for you guys to abuse that," he continues, disgusted, "even in private? Is the opposite of everything we're trying to achieve in here!" "I need you to stop," he emphasizes, "and spread the word to all the other Glee guys -- and girls: This ends here and now, and Coach Beiste can never know about this!" Abashed, Gaylord and Lady Lips agree.