Later that evening, Lady Lips and Miss Quinn indulge in another round of mackery beneath the watchful eye of her Blessed Virgin Mary statuette, and just as Sam starts making googly eyes, he flashes on a soft-focus image of Coach Beiste, clad in a slimming black negligee, blowing kisses as she butchers a side of ribs with a meat cleaver in the McKinley High locker room. It's a sublimely bizarre visual. It's also far too sophisticated for some pasty little twerp like Lady Lips to have concocted on the fly, but as it's the first real laugh I've had this evening, I'll go with it. "Say my name!" Quinn croons into Sam's ear, and Lady Lips's legs go all wobbly, so he next conjures up the soft-focus image of Coach Beiste in full Cheerios regalia demanding the same thing. "Beiste!" Sam whispers, enthralled. Quinn makes a tremendous stink-face at her boyfriend's unwitting faux pas and squints, "Are you okay?" "Yeah!" Sam dreamily replies. "I could do this for hours!" Not if this commercial break has anything to say about it, you dolt.
Sue's office, the following morning, where we find Quinn rather urgently relating the events of last night. "There we were, making out," she breathlessly states, "and he said it: 'Beiste!'" "I think he was picturing making out with her!" she adds, subtly repulsed. "That is the most horrific image I can imagine," Sue declares. Quinn babbles that she needs help -- she's done everything she can to rehabilitate her image by pulling down straight As and dating the cutest guy in the school... "Who'd rather be dry-humping She-Hulk," Sue interjects. "Oh, dear God, why did I say that?" Sue scolds herself. "Now that's what I'm picturing. You know what kind of disgusting images I'm gonna have to look at to get this out of my head? I'm gonna have to go straight to the wound care center. Have to stare at some wounds." Hee. Quinn blows all of that off to plead that she doesn't know what to do about the whole sordid situation, but Sue of course spots an opportunity and quickly formulates a plan to rid McKinley of her latest arch-rival once and for all. "We need to go public with your pain," Sue decides, "get people talking about this, make Beiste into the next Mary Kay Letourneau." I'm kind of frightened that Microsoft Word includes "Letourneau" in its dictionary, but that's not important because Sue's also decided that Quinn needs to give Sam a piece of her mind. "Loud, and in public," Sue instructs. "Show him who's the boss!" "Oh, man!" Sue moans. "Now I'm picturing the two of them making out during an episode of Who's The Boss?" I bet it's the episode where Alyssa Milano gets her first period. Am I right, Sue? Huh?