...skips back to the music room to announce that the boys must perform girl songs while the girls perform boy songs. "The more opposite your choice," he explains, "the more points you get." "Don't worry, gentlemen," Kurt excitedly tells the football players, "I have this one under control."

Smash cut to Kurt slapping a pointer against a betasseled idea board, upon which he's pasted a cut-out of himself sporting a rather Cher-like feathered headpiece. "Obviously for this medley to work," Kurt lectures as the football players stare at him all befuddled and such, "I'm gonna have to sing lead, and of course when you're singing Diana Ross, Bob Mackie-esque feather boas are a must!" "Isn't this lesson about opposites?" Artie thinks to wonder. "I mean, you in a sequined gown and a feather boa is exactly what you'd expect." Kurt makes to protest that he said nothing about sequined gowns, but Puck for one is not buying it, and he suggests Kurt make himself useful by putting "rat poison in old folks' Jell-O" or spying on "The Garglers." "The Warblers," Kurt testily corrects. "Whatever," Puck shrugs. "You can wear all the feathers you want -- blend right in!" Kurt, outraged, huffily snatches up his idea board and flounces, leaving Gaylord and Finn to shoot worried looks at each other for some reason that's never explained.

Later that evening, Lady Lips and Miss Quinn indulge in another round of mackery beneath the watchful eye of her Blessed Virgin Mary statuette, and just as Sam starts making googly eyes, he flashes on a soft-focus image of Coach Beiste, clad in a slimming black negligee, blowing kisses as she butchers a side of ribs with a meat cleaver in the McKinley High locker room. It's a sublimely bizarre visual. It's also far too sophisticated for some pasty little twerp like Lady Lips to have concocted on the fly, but as it's the first real laugh I've had this evening, I'll go with it. "Say my name!" Quinn croons into Sam's ear, and Lady Lips's legs go all wobbly, so he next conjures up the soft-focus image of Coach Beiste in full Cheerios regalia demanding the same thing. "Beiste!" Sam whispers, enthralled. Quinn makes a tremendous stink-face at her boyfriend's unwitting faux pas and squints, "Are you okay?" "Yeah!" Sam dreamily replies. "I could do this for hours!" Not if this commercial break has anything to say about it, you dolt.