Anyway, where the hell was I? Oh, yes: "I stick out like a sore thumb," Kurt frets, for he's wearing short pants over riding boots beneath a shiny and expensive-looking black blazer. "Next time, don't forget your jacket, new kid!" Blaine teases, helpfully adjusting Kurt's lapels, and poor little Kurt looks like he's going to swoon himself into a dead faint at that especially intimate gesture. "Now, if you'll excuse me," Blaine politely adds, slinging his manpurse to the floor to join the other Warblers on the far side of the room, for yes, Blaine is The Warblers' lead chanteur, and he and his fellows immediately launch themselves into a disappointingly overproduced a cappella version of Katy Perry's disappointingly horrid "Teenage Dream." Actually, all of Katy Perry's songs are disappointingly horrid. Hell, Katy Perry is disappointingly horrid, period. You'd think the modern gaylets would have better taste in songstresses. And you'd be wrong.
But I digress. Blaine and his merry band of thirtysomething troubadours bop their way through that atrocious song, and Kurt is in L.U.V. lurrrrrve.
Meanwhile, back at McKinley, Gaylord's just told Tina about Sam's cool-down strategy. "That is hilarious," Tina grins. "Let's get a room!" With that, she drags Gaylord into McKinley's bizarre astronomy classroom so they can do it under the stars, or something like that, and Television Without Pity's forum boards get a lovely little shout-out when Tina calls Gaylord her "very own SituAsian," and when things get a little too hot and heavy for Tina, she pictures Coach Beiste in a pink tutu performing barre exercises while puffing on a fat stogie. Not as funny as butchering ribs whilst sporting naughty negligee, but better than the rather clichéd Cheerios outfit. "Beiste!" Tina whispers, enthralled. Gaylord makes a tremendous stink-face at his girlfriend's unwitting faux pas and squints, "What did you say?" "Nothing!" Tina lies, instantly freaked out, and she bolts from the room in a mad panic, leaving Gaylord alone to repeat the coach's name with an expression of utter disgust on his face.