New York

Episode Report Card
LTG: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
How Do You Get To Carnegie Hall?

All of the girls are sprawled out across their bedroom, sleeping. Kurt, looking super natty in a black suit and what look like spats, sneaks into the room and wakes her up to join him for breakfast at Tiffany's. Cut to the two of them eating bagels in front of the Fifth Avenue storefront of Tiffany & Co. Rachel tells Kurt that he's the only one who understands how amazing New York is. "Which is why I have a secret to tell you. When we graduate, I'm coming back here and I'm going to college here." That's a secret? I think I speak for the entire audience when I say that I assumed as much after the pilot. Kurt has the same plan. And so does Blaine. Rachel's all freaked out because she worries that if she gets back together with Finn, it'll stand in the way of her Manhattan dreams. First of all, graduation is a year away -- if this show stays true to form, Rachel and Finn will break up and get back together at least six times before then. Second, it's moronic of Rachel to assume that Finn wouldn't want to come to New York. Third, it's a known fact that all emotional teenage girls are certain they can make a long-distance relationship work. So this drama just doesn't make sense to me. Kurt tells her she'll have to choose between love and career, and then tells her he knows exactly how she can make that choice. Bagel in hand, he leads her to the Gershwin Theater, home of Wicked. And that's when Kurt suggests that they break in.

Cut to the two of them walking towards the stage in the empty theater. A different crusty usher catches them, and tells them they're not supposed to be there. They come up with a lame excuse about being early for their costume fittings (as munchkins). He sees right through them, pegging them as hicks with "big Broadway dreams about singing on a real Broadway stage." And then he gives them fifteen minutes alone in the theater. And so they sing "For Good," from Wicked. I do like the way these two characters have become such good friends. After they sing, Rachel tells Kurt that she's realized she doesn't have to choose between career and love, because Broadway is her true love. That may be true, but I have it on good authority that Broadway is a lousy kisser.

Girls' room. Santana and Brit are banging on the door of the bathroom, demanding that Quinn stop being such a hygiene hog. All the other girls have already gone to the other room to work on the songs. Quinn emerges from the bathroom and tells Santana and Brit that she plans to tell Will that Rachel and Kurt have been sneaking off, so that they'll get suspended and be ineligible to compete, thereby ruining New Direction's chances at winning. This was her big plan? Maybe she was only an evil genius when she was pregnant. Anyway, Santana tells her to get over herself, because sabotaging the competition out of spite is only going to cause her to lose her one chance at feeling good about herself. But Quinn is too full of self-pity over the fact that all the unpopular girls have boyfriends while all the popular girls (i.e., the three of them) are single. She sits on the bed, crying. Santana and Brit sit on either side of her. Santana: "I think I know how to make you feel better." Quinn, through her tears: "I'm flattered Santana, but I'm really not that into you." Ha! Anyway, what Santana thinks she really needs is a haircut.

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