And when it's over, The Swallows quickly exit the stage to make way for this evening's second set of contenders, The Golden Goblets from Our Lady Of Perpetual Sorrow High School. And it would be especially remiss of me were I not to thank the lovely and talented DEM from the forum boards, who let me know that the version of Byron's "She Walks In Beauty" The Golden Goblets begin to sing actually comes courtesy of The University Of Redlands Madrigal Singers. You can listen to the full song here if you're so inclined, and I hope you are, because it's pretty damn good. Not that you'd know that from the episode itself, of course, for barely have The Golden Goblets opened their mouths to lip-synch when the scene cuts over to...

...the music room so we can watch New Directions' final preparations, which seem to consist solely of Frankenteen and Idiot Rachel announcing to the group at large that their asinine wedding will now be taking place immediately following that afternoon's award ceremony.

And when we return from this evening's third commercial break, we jump right into McKinley High's performance set, and...wow. Underwhelming in the extreme. It opens with medley of Nicki Minaj's "Fly" and notorious urination aficionado R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly," and when this first bit isn't busy being jaw-droppingly awful -- that would be the part where Dreamboat Blaine "raps" -- it's busy being boring as hell. I realize it probably doesn't help that I'm not a fan of the original songs at all, but still. You'd think they'd figure out a way to surprise us with an unexpected arrangement, or some innovative staging, or something -- I mean, come on, people: This is Regionals we're talking about. Step it the fuck up! -- and yet what they end up giving us has little more substance to it than that dry-ice fog that's now rolling across the floor. And to think I was excited I'd be getting all of the competition episodes this season. Sigh.