On stage, the three teams wait for the results, which will be announced by the wife of the lieutenant governor. A blowzy alcoholic takes the stage and drunkenly tells the crowd, "My husband is verbally abusive and I have been drinking since noon." And then she announces the results -- it's New Directions! They celebrate and take their giant trophy. And then Sue punches the lieutenant governor's wife. Okay then.
Blaine shovels some dirt into the grave of Pavarotti, who has the most jewel-encrusted casket and tombstone since Liberace's poodle. Blaine and Kurt are the only two Swallows to attend the funeral. Kurt is weepy, and lays a rose across Pavarotti's grave. Blaine has the presence of mind to realize that the bird funeral reminds Kurt of his mother's funeral. Kurt: "The casket was bigger, but yes." Was it also jewel-encrusted? But what Kurt's really upset about is that they lost. Blaine notes that they'll still get to perform together, but Kurt really wanted to win. Blaine: "You did win. So did I. We got each other out of all this. That beats a lousy trophy, don't you think?" And with that, they take hands and walk away from the grave.
Music room. Will enters, talking on the phone with Holly Holiday, who is at some sweat lodge somewhere. He hangs up and tells the kids that Holly will congratulate them all in person when she's back from her vision quest. And then Will announces that the team unanimously voted and awarded the MVP prize to Rachel. And she gives a teary speech about how happy she is to finally not be totally hated. And with a group hug, we launch into a hiatus until April.
LTG lives in Boston, where he's a full-time pension attorney and a part-time stripper pole polisher. You can reach him at email@example.com.