Pot O' Gold

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 2 USERS: C+
It's Magically Disgusting!

Sometimes I crack myself up.

Idina Menzel's apartment. Puck arrives just as Idina's putting Dismal Drizzle down for a nap, so of course Dismal Drizzle starts screaming, which in this instance is actually a good thing, because it gives Puck the cover he needs to surreptitiously ransack Idina's apartment for the crap nefarious Quinn so deviously planted all those many scezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Whoops! Sorry. Still not caring. And once he's done with the ransacking, Puck grabs Idina's guitar to serenade the squalling infant with Foreigner's "Waiting For A Girl Like You," and Dismal Drizzle immediately shuts up because someone on the set blew a tranquilizer dart into her eye. Or something. Eventually, it becomes unclear whether Puck's singing the song to Drizzle or Idina, which I guess is sort of the point to this whole scene, but you know: Fuck me if I care. The minute the song's over with, Idina opens her yap to whinge about the supposed torments of single motherhood, and I find myself caring even less about this scene -- which shouldn't be possible, and yet here we are -- so let's just go ahead and plunge into this evening's next commercial break, shall we? Good.

Locker Room. The Leprechaun bursts in with some "top-secret intel" Frankenteen doesn't want to hear, so Finn...

...bustles up to Brit-Brit by her locker and blurts, "Is it true?" "No," Brit-Brit blithely replies, "of course not." "You're not leaving New Directions?" Finn clarifies. "Ohhhhh!" Brit-Brit apologizes. "I thought you were talking about the Selena Gomez pregnancy rumors. Yes, I am quitting Glee Club." And given the fact that this bit of news broke as this episode was airing, that Selena Gomez-Justin Bieber slam seems a hell of a lot more funny in retrospect. But that's neither here nor there at the moment, because Frankenteen's having a meltdown right there in the middle of the hall. "We need you!" he pleads. "We're like a big family, and this is our year to win it all!" Santana Lopez saunters up at this juncture to hurl a couple of hilarious insults in Frankenteen's face that quite honestly make absolutely no sense within the context of this particular conversation, so I'll be skipping past them to listen in as Finn claims, "We can't survive any more defections!" "I know!" Brit-Brit commiserates. "It's just that Santana? She made a wish on my leprechaun?" "There's no such thing as leprechauns!" Finn explodes, finally having had enough of Brit-Brit's batshit blithering, for whatever unknown reason. "That stuff about Santa being real last year was cute," he rages, "but this leprechaun crap? At some point, you just gotta grow up and stop being such an idiot!" Brittany takes extreme umbrage at that last utterance of Finn's and, after giving him a piece of what passes for her scattered little mind, she spins on her heel and wafts off down the hall, Santana racing along at her side. Soon enough, the two run into Mercedes, who's overjoyed to learn they've chosen to enter the warm embrace of Idina Menzel's nurturing lady-choir, and...scene.

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