Pot O' Gold

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 2 USERS: C+
It's Magically Disgusting!

But I suppose I should finish with the esteemed Mr. McGinty's introduction to the audience before I start screaming at the little twerp to fucking enunciate already, shouldn't I? In response to Brit-Brit's wish, the pasty whelp brogues, "Yerr'n look!" "[Product-Placed Breakfast Cereal's Cartoon Mascot] happens to be my cousin," he continues, as best as I can interpret it all, "and he lives two toadstools down!" "Thank you!" Brit-Brit sighs, pecking him gratefully on the cheek before adding, "Though I don't understand most of what you just said," which is rich, coming from her tonight. She floats off down the hall, and as Finn continues to stare blatantly at the wimp she's left behind, a trio of hockey-haired, letter-jacketed lunkheads strides past to slam Brit-Brit's personal cartoon cereal mascot up against the lockers. "Go back to Mexico!" one of them sneers, and with that, we slam into this evening's title card.

McKinley Teachers' Lounge. Quinn and Puck slither in to chat with Idina Menzel, and oh, my God! Why the hell do I keep getting saddled with this enormously boring storyline this season? Damn you, LTG! Long story short, Quinn and Puck convince Idina Menzel to let them look after Dismal Drizzle while Idina takes a much-needed night off, or something, and then we cut over to...

..."Sue's Corner," where the lady of the corner kicks things off by announcing, "I've got a bee in my bonnet, and that bee's name is government waste!" "Earlier today," she continues, "I saw a state employee in the person of one Verna The Lunch Lady throw away three hundred pounds of precious, expired turkey gravy simply because Uncle Sam said there were too many weevils in it." "Well, you know what has no expiration date, voters?" she asks of her audience. "My rage!" Sue slaps her hand down on the table and hoists a manila envelope ominously labeled "TOP SECRET" into the air. "I have," she reveals, "the budget for the McKinley High production of West Side Story -- a musical about a race war that glorifies gang violence, yet still seems extraordinarily gay." Point to Sue. With great pleasure, Sue rips open the envelope to display the heretofore confidential information contained therein: McKinley is spending $2004 on the student production -- or, as Sue notes with acid disdain, the equivalent of "a year's salary for a public-school math teacher" -- an amount "wasted on fake switchblades and the soft packing of teen dance belts." "If this nation wants to impress its future Chinese overlords," she concludes, "we need to get our priorities straight, and that's why I encourage every Ohioan to call McKinley High School and sing 'em this song: I'm fed up and angry, too, and I agree with Candidate Sue!"

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