Pot O' Gold

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 2 USERS: C+
It's Magically Disgusting!

...get slammed into a wall by another hockey-haired, letter-jacketed lunkhead, after which he launches himself into his little fantasy version of "Bein' Green" from Sesame Street, and we follow him through the rest of the day, watching as he's shoved aside in the lunch line and ignored in the gym until he ends up gazing wistfully from afar as Brit-Brit scarfs down entire handfuls of marshmallows during study hall, and it's gentle and winsome and boring as hell. Next!

That evening finds Brittany and Santana sitting across from each other at BreadstiX, and after a few preliminaries, Santana wonders aloud if they're dating, or what. "Wait," Brit-Brit replies, confused. "Isn't this a date? Aren't you paying, 'cause I ordered shrimp! Wasn't last week when we were taking a bath together -- wasn't that a date?" Santana gets a little emotional, and she takes a moment before admitting she's never been happier in her life. Then, things get complicated: Brit-Brit somehow makes it clear that she believes her foreign exchange student is an actual, honest-to-God leprechaun, and asks if there's something Santana might want to wish for. Santana admits she's seriously considering jumping the New Directions ship in favor of the warm embrace of Idina Menzel's nurturing lady-choir, and expresses a desire for Brittany to join her. Brit-Brit, bless her, frets that quitting the Glee Club will reflect poorly on her presidential campaign's pledge of "continuity," whatever the hell that means, and asks if she might have a day or so to think it over. Santana readily agrees, and the two coyly hold each other's hand beneath a napkin until we get shunted over into this evening's next commercial break.

And when we return, we find a shirtless Puck making his pool-cleaning rounds while his voiceover extols the virtues of global warming. "All those melting ice caps," his voiceover enthuses, "keep my business open from March through Thanksgiving!" In fact, business has been so good as of late that he's hired a wee assistant named Pony whose sole job involves skimming the bottoms of the pools for stray change and dead raccoons, the latter of which Pony gets to keep as a bonus for being so helpful. Puck's bonus, of course, remains the long-legged, leathery-skinned cougars who hire him to take advantage of his numerous special talents, several of which are on display at this very moment. Unfortunately, he's taken to pushing pictures of Dismal Drizzle upon them at the most inopportune of moments, so most end up requesting wee Pony's services, instead, as the randy and well-heeled "Mrs. Figler" does right now. Puck doesn't seem to mind, though, because he's livin' large and dreamin' big. As he points out at voiceover's end, however, "The problem with dreams is, there's always some naysayer ready to crap all over them."

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