Heavy breathing. Is Kurt hyperventilating? No, it's just Terri doing her Lamaze exercises. Will is coaching her while Kendra (Terri's sister) looks on, glass of chardonnay in hand. Will is being properly supportive, and Kendra tells him to butch it up: "Giving birth is not like how it is in the movies. It is bloody, and bestial. And you get poop all over your cowboy boots." Well, perhaps it was a mistake to go to that Toby Keith concert on your due date. Will and Kendra bicker, and she shows some remarkable insight as she describes him: "You have to be liked, Will. You're nice, and supportive, and you avoid conflict." Terri nods her head in acknowledgement of the truth. Kendra continues: "Your wife is going to be pushing a watermelon out of her boyhowdy in five months. She doesn't need 'nice.' She needs Dolemite." You guys, I think I just fell in love with Kendra a little bit. However, I must point out that there's no way Terri is four months pregnant. She discovered the pregnancy when Will took over the Glee Club, which was sometime early in the current school year. If that was three months ago, the football season would be over (or nearly over) and it would be nearly winter. Neither of those things is true. But Kendra's so batshit insane, I can forgive her bad math. Kendra offers to teach Will how to rub the gas bubbles out of Terri's stomach. Because Dolemite did that for his hos all the time. Terri doesn't want Will to touch her stomach, claiming that she's worried he'll bruise the baby. And then she asks Will to go make her a BLT. He leaves, and Kendra asks for a BLT of her own. "But hold the tomato. And the lettuce." After Will is out of earshot, Terri starts to have a panic attack: "I can't do this." Kendra: "Oh, don't worry, you're going to have an epidural. I'm just making it sound worse than it is to make him feel guilty. And then you have him by the balls for the rest of your life." Terri asks if Kendra can promise to keep a secret, even from her husband. Kendra: "Oh my God. Is the baby black?" Wrong show, Kendra. Terri pulls up her shirt to reveal a fake baby bump. She tells Kendra about the hysterical pregnancy. "I can't tell Will, I can't. He already has one foot out the door, this pregnancy is the only reason he's still here." I'm not certain where she got that from. Perhaps singing in a boy band is a precursor to divorce? Kendra, who is so clearly the smarter of the two, wonders if Terri thinks Will is going to stick around when he discovers the lie. Terri has clearly not considered this. She decides that she needs to tell him the truth and deal with the consequences. Kendra: "Are you insane? Dishonesty is food to a marriage. It will die without it." Kendra tells Terri to stop being so emotional, and then tells her that there's only one solution to this problem: "We're gonna have to get you a baby." So, the insanity runs in the family, does it?
Episode Report CardLTG: A | 2962 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT