Will enters the teachers' lounge at lunch time. It's full of other teachers, and the only seat available is at a table with Emma and Ken. Well, there is another seat open, but it's at a table with some dude who gives Will a really creepy smile. Also, he's drinking a carton of milk, an orange soda, and a coffee with his lunch. I kind of want to know his story. Will would rather go through the social awkwardness with Emma and Ken than sit with this potential urophile. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Emma starts to tell a story that is hinged on the fact that she's a local news junkie. She loves the local news for its horror movie qualities: "drug recalls, poison toys. Africanized bees, that was terrible." Ken shows some remarkable insight: "That's because disasters freak you out yet fascinate you at the same time, sweetie. See, you like the local news because it's a way you can experience them from the safety of your condo." Emma seems a bit disturbed that Ken has figured her out so well. In any case, Emma was enjoying a story about a zoo mauling, "and you'll never guess who came on next."

Cut to the local news on WOHN, where the anchor is introducing a brand new segment called "Sue's Corner." Sue, in her red track suit, proceeds to deliver an editorial about how caning works. "And to all the naysayers out there who say 'That's illegal. You can't strike children on their bare buttocks with razor sharp bamboo sticks,' I say 'Yes. We. Cane.' And that's how Sue sees [accompanied by hand making a 'C' gesture] it."