Back in the lounge, Will's wondering exactly why the local news would give Sue a segment. She enters at just that moment to note that it's because she's a local celebrity who's been written up twice in the sports pages of USA Today. She points to the chair right in front of her and asks Ken (sitting on the opposite side of the table) to pull it out for her, as her "hand's still sore from signing autographs down at the Donut Hole this morning." She puts down a box of leftover donut holes, and then tells them that the "overnights were through the roof." And then she feels the need to explain that she's talking about the overnight ratings, which made WOHN "western Ohio's number one local newscast." Emma: "Wow." Sue: "'Wow' is the word, Alma." Sue is slowly working through the names of all of my great aunts. She tells them that she wasn't always in the spotlight, but she was determined not to live out the rest of her days as a teacher at a crappy high school "wrestling with mental illness. Or 40, and single, coaching the worst football team in the history of our state. Or having to go to the salon every week to get my hair permed." As she says this, the camera pans to Emma, Ken, and Will. To avoid these fates worse than death, Sue sent out her resume: "And I am so happy to tell you, I am busting out of my box." The thought of Sue's box has made me a little lightheaded. You'll have to excuse me for a minute. She tells them that she'd love to stick around, "but I have a satellite interview. That's lingo again, for an interview... via satellite." And then she leaves, without ever sitting in the chair she made Ken pull out for her.
Glee Club. Will is handing out sheet music. Rachel immediately tells him that the music he's handed her is in the wrong key. He tells her it's correct, and she realizes that he's given her the alto part, which is not the lead on this song. Will affirms that fact, and announces that Tina's doing the solo. Tina looks happy and just a touch apprehensive. But Rachel doesn't let that stop her and barrels ahead, telling Mr. Schue that he must have made a mistake: "I thought I made it very clear that anything from West Side Story goes to me." It's at this moment that I think we should give caning a try. Just for self-entitlement. And maybe as punishment for failing to celebrate the fact that your fellow Glee Club member just got her first solo. Rachel is convinced that Maria is her role, in part because Natalie Wood was Jewish. Of course, Natalie Wood didn't actually sing the part of Maria. Maybe Will should just let Rachel lip-sync while Tina actually sings the song. Will says that he's just trying to get everyone out of their boxes, but Rachel thinks he's trying to punish her. Will points out that Rachel is being unfair to Tina, who might have been happy to have gotten her first solo if Rachel hadn't shat all over it. Rachel: "Tina knows how much I respect her, and I think she would agree with me that she's not ready for such an iconic role as Maria." Allow me to respond, on Tina's behalf: F-f-f-fuck you, Rachel. And then Mercedes has her own little diva moment: "Wait. I'm a Jet?" And we've been debating on the forums exactly what about being a Jet might have offended Mercedes. But inscrutability notwithstanding, that line is very funny. Rachel storms out of rehearsal. Artie: "The more times she storms out of rehearsal, the less impact it has." Will congratulates Tina on getting her solo, and Mercedes gives her a big thumbs up.