Ken tells the assembled team that in six games, their current kicker is "zero for twelve in field goal attempts." (I put that in quotes because I take no responsibility for the validity of any sports-related references in this or any other recap.) Ken reminds them all that in statistical terms, "that SUCKS!" Ken tells them that the current kicker is demoted to water boy (which doesn't sound nearly as sexy as towel boy), and that the next player who can get a football between the posts can have his job. At Finn's signal, Kurt taps Coach Ken on the shoulder and tells him, "Hi, I'm Kurt Hummel and I'll be auditioning for the role of kicker." Snickers and silent hostility meet this declaration. Kurt looks at everyone else with haughty disdain.
And now the big audition... I mean, "try-out" scene. In slow-mo, Kurt carries his boombox to the field while Finn gets into position holding the ball. And then the music starts to play and Kurt does the "Single Ladies" dance. The players all laugh to see it -- right up until the moment he sashays up to the ball and sends it flying through the goal posts. Ken runs up to him and asks, "Can you do that with the game on the line and ten gorillas bearing down on you who want nothing more than to taste your sweet virgin blood?" Kurt: "Sounds like fun. Can I have my music?" Coach will give him anything he wants if he can keep kicking like that. Ken announces to the team that they have found a new kicker. Kurt gives them all a beauty pageant wave as he walks up to the team, while Puck looks royally pissed off.
Sue is in her office autographing glossy self-portraits when a guy from the television station enters with another stack of mail for her. He warns her that there's some hate mail mixed in, due to her editorial on littering. Sue: "Not everyone's gonna have the walnuts to take a pro-littering stance, but I will not rest until every inch of our fair state is covered in garbage. That's why I pay taxes -- it keeps the garbage men earning a living, so they can afford tacos for their families." I feel like I should write myself some hate mail just for typing that sentence. And then the TV guy tells her that her future at the station is dependent on the Cheerios remaining national champions -- he's heard that she's lost several cheerleaders to the dreaded Glee Club. If she can't win Nationals, she'll lose her TV gig.