Glee
Glee

Episode Report Card
LTG: A | 2950 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
I Think I Should Put a Ring on It

Hallway (enclosed against the fierce Ohio winters). Finn sees Quinn at her locker and approaches her, asking her why she's been giving him the silent treatment. He corners her by the trophy case and tells her that he's sorry for whatever he did. She's got one beautiful tear rolling down her cheek. And then she drops the bombshell: "I'm pregnant." Dun-DUN! Finn misses her next couple of sentences, as the only thing he can hear is the sound of his own future collapsing. He finally recovers the power of speech and asks, "Mine?" She says it is. He's as confused as we are, because he doesn't actually have any recollection of having sex with her. She reminds him about that time they were in the hot tub last month.

Cut to the hot tub. Finn and Quinn are making out. Shouldn't there be a balloon between them? And then Finn gets the look of an early arrival on his face. Quinn notices and tells him, "Think of the mail. Think of the mail!" And he does. But it's too late. Or too early, really. (I wonder if that mailman feels a twinge in his spine every time Finn remembers that scene?) (Also, I love that the actor playing Finn's mother is getting a residual every time they use the clip of her screaming, "You killed him! What are you going to do?")

Back in the hallway, even our dim-witted Finn doesn't think the sperm could have penetrated both of their swimsuits. Quinn claims that some health or biology teacher told her the hot tub is the perfect temperature for the sperm, and just makes them swim faster. Finn's hyperventilating, and he suddenly asks Quinn if she's going to get a "...." No, she's not going to get an ellipsis. And she's not getting an abortion, either. Quinn, in tears: "I really thought I had a shot of getting out of here." She leans on Finn, and he holds her. Commercials.

We open on a display case full of dozens or hundreds of creepy looking dolls. Sandy Ryerson, in a red kimono, is telling someone that he's been collecting dolls since 1961. Oh, that someone is Sue: "Well, isn't this just lovely and normal." Sandy tells her the dolls are his everything, and then leaves to get some tea. As he walks away, we see that it's not a kimono, it's a shorty robe. If you saw it, I assume that, like me, you had to pause the recording to spend some time in a fetal position wondering why God would allow such things to exist. He asks why she's there, and she tells him she just thought she'd stop by and say hello. And then she adds, "Boy, the only thing missing from this place is a couple dozen bodies limed and rotting in shallow graves under the floor boards." Sandy brings her some tea and tells her how much he's enjoying having some "Sandy time," what with his Friday bridge game and his Saturdays volunteering at the cat rescue. Sue suggests that they cut the crap, and he breaks down into wracking sobs and tells her, "I'm living in a cocoon of horror." Ah, but out of that cocoon will emerge a butterfly of disgust. Or maybe a moth of discontent. You can never tell with those horror cocoons. Sue tells Sandy that she understands that he needs to be back in the spotlight. She wants to offer him "the school's arts administrator position." He'll be in charge of all of the school's arts, music, and drama programs, including Glee Club (which she says only with a snarl of contempt in her voice). Sandy tells her that Figgins will never allow it. Sue tells him not to worry about Figgins.

Glee

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP