Cut back to the mall, for a replay of Tina's fall into the fountain. This time, it's the real Kurt and Blaine who pull her out of the fountain. And she's still wearing her own clothes. Fantasy over, I guess. Commercials.
Auditorium. Sue's got the kids on stage in their welding helmets. They're doing... something, I can't quite think of the word. I know I've seen this before. It's right on the tip of my tongue. What could it be? Wait a minute. [Siri, what's it called when performers take steps to prepare for a performance?] Oh, that's it! It's called "practice." It's just been so long, I forgot the word. They're practicing for the big "Flashdance" number. Which means singing through their welding helmets while some of them actually grind metal on spinning disk things to produce giant fountains of sparks. Sue calls an end to it, pronouncing it a disaster because the sparks aren't timed to the beat of the music. The kids are dubious about the entire proposition, pointing out how hard it is to dance with the mask on. Sam asks if they shouldn't be "in some sort of grinding union." Santana: "Wanky." She almost sounds bored when she says it -- like she knows it's expected of her, but she doesn't really believe it. Will points out that it's ridiculous to expect these kids to learn any kind of advanced choreography. Oh, wait, he means they can't be expected to learn advanced choreography while weighed down by masks and metal grinders. I think my version was just as accurate. Will thinks that the props were supposed to add to the number; instead, they're taking it over. The funny thing is, a version of this could have been totally amazing. Except it would require weeks or months of ... what was that word again? Oh, yes, "practice." Sue asks Porcelain if he has any ideas; he tells her he won't do drag, but that he does have an idea for a new approach.
Teachers' lounge. Which is suddenly invaded by Santana, Brit-Brit and Mercedes. Some limp noodle, who I've randomly decided is a social studies teacher, tells them not to invade the teachers' "sacred space." In light of the many kinds of diversity the three of them represent, Santana tells him that kicking them out would be a hate crime, and then they saunter over to Coach Beiste. They're there to bust her for not having actually left Cooter after she told them she had done just that. Coach Beiste tells them that adult relationships are complicated, and that Cooter knows now that if he doesn't fly right, Shannon is out of there. Cut to the Cooter Cottage, where Cooter is screaming at the Panther while she stands at the sink washing a giant chef's knife. Come on, Coach, it's right there in the lyrics the girls sang for you two episodes ago -- "and then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!" But no, Shannon just lets him yell and scream some more. Back in the lounge, Mercedes expresses doubt that somebody could change that fast. Santana invites the Beiste to come to Chicago with the kids to get a break from Cooter, but Shannon begs off. She appreciates the concern, but she can take care of herself.