Hallway. "Rachel" walks up to "Tina" at her locker to tell her how her background "oohs" and "aahs" always provide just the right amount support to "Rachel's" big numbers. Poor, pathetic "Tina" has apparently been waiting her whole life to be on the receiving end of this condescending speech. "Rachel" reminds her that she'll have her own chance to shine when she's a senior. "Tina" commiserates with "Rachel" about her flubbed audition, and advises her not to give up. In fact, she tells "Rachel" that if Madame Thibodeaux wouldn't take her calls, she would just drive to where she is and refuse to leave until she gives her another chance. You know, high school kids too often overlook the advantages of stalking as a college admissions strategy. I'm glad to see that "Tina" has her eye on the prize.
Cut back to the mall, for a replay of Tina's fall into the fountain. This time, it's the real Kurt and Blaine who pull her out of the fountain. And she's still wearing her own clothes. Fantasy over, I guess. Commercials.
Auditorium. Sue's got the kids on stage in their welding helmets. They're doing... something, I can't quite think of the word. I know I've seen this before. It's right on the tip of my tongue. What could it be? Wait a minute. [Siri, what's it called when performers take steps to prepare for a performance?] Oh, that's it! It's called "practice." It's just been so long, I forgot the word. They're practicing for the big "Flashdance" number. Which means singing through their welding helmets while some of them actually grind metal on spinning disk things to produce giant fountains of sparks. Sue calls an end to it, pronouncing it a disaster because the sparks aren't timed to the beat of the music. The kids are dubious about the entire proposition, pointing out how hard it is to dance with the mask on. Sam asks if they shouldn't be "in some sort of grinding union." Santana: "Wanky." She almost sounds bored when she says it -- like she knows it's expected of her, but she doesn't really believe it. Will points out that it's ridiculous to expect these kids to learn any kind of advanced choreography. Oh, wait, he means they can't be expected to learn advanced choreography while weighed down by masks and metal grinders. I think my version was just as accurate. Will thinks that the props were supposed to add to the number; instead, they're taking it over. The funny thing is, a version of this could have been totally amazing. Except it would require weeks or months of ... what was that word again? Oh, yes, "practice." Sue asks Porcelain if he has any ideas; he tells her he won't do drag, but that he does have an idea for a new approach.