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Hit Her Again!

Teachers' lounge. Which is suddenly invaded by Santana, Brit-Brit and Mercedes. Some limp noodle, who I've randomly decided is a social studies teacher, tells them not to invade the teachers' "sacred space." In light of the many kinds of diversity the three of them represent, Santana tells him that kicking them out would be a hate crime, and then they saunter over to Coach Beiste. They're there to bust her for not having actually left Cooter after she told them she had done just that. Coach Beiste tells them that adult relationships are complicated, and that Cooter knows now that if he doesn't fly right, Shannon is out of there. Cut to the Cooter Cottage, where Cooter is screaming at the Panther while she stands at the sink washing a giant chef's knife. Come on, Coach, it's right there in the lyrics the girls sang for you two episodes ago -- "and then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!" But no, Shannon just lets him yell and scream some more. Back in the lounge, Mercedes expresses doubt that somebody could change that fast. Santana invites the Beiste to come to Chicago with the kids to get a break from Cooter, but Shannon begs off. She appreciates the concern, but she can take care of herself.

Cut to the boys' locker room. Sue has assembled New Directions there to watch some footage that Kurt taped when he snuck into a Vocal Adrenaline rehearsal. I cannot believe they haven't been punished for that yet. Also, couldn't they have watched this footage in the music room? Anyway, it shows VA actually preparing the number they'll perform at Nationals. Since they've no doubt spent weeks and weeks working on it, the choreography is flawless. Will points out a move in which two people basically grab each other's ankles and do a giant tandem somersault. He calls it "the human centipede," and tells them it's the newest and hardest show choir dance move. Blaine claims that it doesn't look that hard, but I'm having a hard time imagining Frankenteen pulling something like that off. Sue also points out Unique, claiming that she's the factor that gives VA their edge. As the lights go on, Finn asks if Rachel isn't their own Unique Factor. Sue: "Not even close. I'm not saying that Mrs. Fokker doesn't deserve a solo, but every show choir in the country has a little girl with a big nose." Sue points out that high school competition judges are proven idiots -- which she should know, having been one. Puck asks if Sue really thinks they need a guy in drag to win. Will says "no" while Sue says "yes, it's the only way."

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