Puppet Master

Episode Report Card
LTG: C+ | 87 USERS: C
Kurt Gets Felt Up

Kurt's vision is interrupted by his ringing phone. It's Blaine (or, as Kurt says, "my fiancé"), and he leaves the rest of the band to talk amongst themselves while he takes the call. Blaine's calling to complain about how ungrateful the rest of New Directions was, what with their refusal to do exactly what he said. Blaine responds with angry silence when Kurt uses the words "puppet master," but Kurt powers through and invites Blaine fly out to New York that Thursday after school to see Pamela Lansbury's debut. He even offers him a [Product Place Airline] voucher. So Blaine can afford to spontaneously buy a piano for the Improbably Bohemian Bushwick Loft, and struggling student Kurt also has enough money to give his boyfriend free plane flights? I need to get me a starving artist sugar daddy, is what I'm thinking.

The camera pans over to the Maharishi, in his spiffy but humiliating janitor's uniform. Sue busts him on missing a spot. After she insults his skills as a principal and a janitor, she expositions that the school board is inspecting the school to evaluate her, and that she fully expects to be offered the job she fraudulently stole from Figgins on a permanent basis. The last shreds of Figgins' dignity are only saved because Becky interrupts to tell Sue that the school board is waiting in her office.

In Sue's office, the Handsome New Superintendent (who is quite the silver fox) asks her why she wants to be principal. Sue: "Well, more than anyone I've ever met, I was born to be in charge." Truer words have never been spoken. She promises them that in one year, she can turn McKinley into the top school in the state. Is she aware of the caliber of students her school seems to attract? Not to mention the quality of her teaching staff? I'm just saying, Sue, don't write checks your extremely stupid students can't cash. The Handsome New Superintendent and his flunky are duly impressed. On the way out, HNS compliments her on her wall of trophies, and suggests they go out for a beer sometime. Sue asks him if he's sure that would be appropriate. HNS: "I don't think anyone would see a couple of guys going out for a beer as anything shady." So, he thinks Sue Sylvester is a dude. A dude with breasts and child-bearing hips. I guess it makes sense that the superintendent is a stupid as the kids and teachers. Sue is too shocked to correct him on his misapprehension.

Sue's kicking back in her office with Becky, each eating... a bowl of cereal? Or a bowl of milk and cookies? It's hard to tell. Sue asks Becky if she looks masculine. Becky: "You have an allure that goes beyond gender." Sue agrees, but admits that she's pretty bummed out that HNS mistook her as the potential star in the "sequel to Boys Don't Cry." Becky suggests she try wearing a skirt every now and then, but Sue tells her she tried that once. On her very first day of teaching, in 1986.

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