Yay! It's a newscast with Emmy-award-winning anchor Rod Remington! Co-anchor Andrea is just finishing up a story about the "zoo's first Unitarian chimp wedding in over six years." But the picture they show is of a couple of macacques in tux and wedding gown. I hope the bride and groom don't fight over who gets to eat the flowers in the bride's veil. And then Rod throws it over to Sue's Corner: "Thanks, Rod. You know, Halloween is fast approaching. The day when parents encourage little boys to dress like little girls and little girls to dress like whores and to go door-to-door browbeating hardworking Americans into giving them free food. Well you know what, western Ohio? We've lost the true meaning of Halloween. Fear! Halloween is that magical time of the year when a child is told their grandmother is a demon who's been feeding them rat casserole with a crunchy garnish of their own scabs. Children must know fear. Without it, they won't know how to behave. They'll try frenching grizzly bears or consider living in Florida. So moms? Skip trick or treating this year. And instead, sit your little toddler down and explain that daddy's a hungry zombie, and before he went out to sharpen his pitchfork, he whispered to mommy that you look delicious. And that's how Sue 'C's it." As the newscast finishes, Sue strides through the backstage area. She passes Meatloaf and Barry Bostwick dressed in black suits. They look at each other and nod.
Sue's office. She's carving a jack-o-lantern when Meatloaf and Barry B. walk into her office. It turns out that they're the new station managers, and they have ideas. Meatloaf: "You see, good news is about information, but great news is about fear." They start listing the things you can use the news to make people fear: killer bees, terrorists, Mexicans, Mexican terrorists, ants, and Mexican terrorist ants. They've got Sue's interest. And also the interest of her jack-o-lantern, which it turns out is a self-portrait. Meatloaf and Barry B. have heard rumors about the Rocky Horror plans at McKinley. Meatloaf asks if Sue knows the show. Sue: "When I was younger, I took my sister to the show. The audience was so enraged at having a disabled person in their midst, you know what they did? They threw toast at us." Barry B. has an impulse to point out Sue's error, but he quashes it in the name of journalistic integrity. Sue asks if they want her to shut down the production. What they really want is for it to go forward and for Sue to do an exposé on the production -- they think it might even lead to a local Emmy. She's in. Commercials.













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