Sue and the Honeybadger have come up with a perfect plan to destroy Will and the Glee Club. They convince April Rhodes to come back to McKinley to enlist Will's help in creating a musical based on her own life, on the theory that April will then be able to tempt Will away from Ohio to the Great White Way. The other part of the plan involves restarting the school paper (The Muckraker) to fuel the flames of gossip, thereby breeding dissent among the Glee Club ranks.
The second part of the plan is pretty successful. Blind items about Santana playing for the other team and Quinn and Sam making out cause fighting in the ranks. This leads to people spying on each other. Rachel and Finn see Sam and Kurt exiting a no-tell motel, causing speculation that Kurt is cheating on Blaine. And the next night, they see Quinn and Sam exiting the same motel, while Jewfro sees Finn and Rachel hanging out in his car. So that leads to more fighting and jealousy. But it turns out that Kurt and Quinn were each at the motel to help Sam out, because familial unemployment has caused his entire family to have to move into a single motel room. Learning about Sam's difficulty helps most of the kids forget their differences and come together in song.
But only most of the kids, because Artie gets upset with Brit-Brit's naiveté and calls her stupid, leading the two of them to break up. You'd think that Santana would be thrilled with that, and she is at first, even singing a love song to Brit. But Brit doesn't want love songs sung in empty rooms -- she wants a relationship out of the closet. And Santana breaks her heart by backing out of their planned internet announcement of their relationship and planting rumors about her own sexual exploits with Karofsky.
The first part of the League of Doom's plot doesn't seem to go as well. Will enjoys singing with April, and Emma actually encourages him to follow his own dreams instead of sacrificing them for the sake of the kids. But he is steadfast in his desire to see the kids through to Nationals. But at the very end, he looks like he may be having second thoughts. Could this be the end of the dream?
Featuring the music of Fleetwood Mac's 1977 album, Rumours, including "Don't Stop," performed by the entire club, "Dreams," performed by Will and April Rhodes, "Go Your Own Way," performed by Rachel, "I Don't Want To Go," performed by Finn and Quinn, "Never Going Back Again," performed by Artie (with backup from the McKinley Guitar Ensemble), and "Songbird," performed by Santana. I blame the Clintons for this shit. Fortunately for me, Demian gets to deal with it in the full recap. -- LTG
Listen to a preview of the songs from the upcoming prom episode.
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With absolutely no warning whatsoever, we find ourselves flung into the opening credits of Brittany S. Pierce's exuberant new YouTube-based chat show, Fondue For Two, and while I'm tempted to claim that the aggravating vintage Casio drum kit riff is the worst thing about it -- and by "worst," I of course mean "fantabulously best" -- that particular prize must go instead to the outfit our dear little Brit-Brit's sporting at the moment: A nightmarish 1980s one-piece denim jumpsuit accessorized with a rainbow belt held together by a yellow double-apple buckle, and despite my inexcusable fondness for it at the moment, I swear to the sweet baby Jesus that if this show makes this ensemble trendy again, I will hunt down all those responsible and shoot each and every one of them in the face. That belt! Fucking hell.
Anyway, Fondue For Two, as its hostess announces, combines the two things Brittany likes the most: "Hot cheese, and talking to people." I was going to attempt a "drippy sticks she can put in her mouth and pussy" joke here, but I thought the better of it, mainly because Brittany's pussy doesn't make its entrance until the end of the segment. In any event, Brittany's inaugural guests are McKinley High's "biggest gossips," Mercedes and Single-T Tina, the latter of whom quite correctly wonders, "Shouldn't it be Fondue For Three?" Brit-Brit just blankly shakes her head in response to this while Mercedes nearly gags on a tremendous wad of too-hot cheese and bread, which she then proceeds to hork out onto a plate. Lovely. "So!" Brittany smiles, completely ignoring the decidedly unladylike shenanigans of her uncouth guest. "Let's get down to some hot dish: I heard a rumor that Mr. Kidney the janitor walks around school drinking vodka out of a teapot!" "Is this really what they were doing in the '70s?" Mercedes grimaces, wrinkling her entire face as she tries another bite. "It tastes the way a baby's diaper smells!" Meanwhile, Single-T Tina would like to address a certain common bit of scuttlebutt regarding Asian men. "Not true!" she whispers knowingly at the camera, and in case you've led a remarkably sheltered life up to this point, she's talking about dick. Which makes me feel a hell of a lot better about all the "Brittany's Pussy" jokes I'll be making over the course of this recap, because seriously: Forty seconds in, and Ryan Murphy's already got Tina whispering knowingly about Asian dong? Yeah, I am very happy my parents stopped watching this show way back in October.
We finally arrive at the point of this scene when Brit-Brit leans forward and confides, "I heard a rumor that Santana plays for the other team." "And I can confirm that rumor," Brittany adds, licking an especially gooey bit of cheese from her index finger. "It's a hundred percent true." "Wait," Mercedes mumbles around another mouthful of fondue. "What?" "Are you serious?" Tina gapes. Brit-Brit would elaborate, I'm sure, but her tremendous pussy has just now entered the scene. As she bends down to haul it up onto her coffee table, she introduces us all to "Lord Tubbington," and wow. That is one gigantic, hairy lardball of a... I'm gonna put "cat," here, because the other option was grossing my fingers out. Brittany all but stuffs Lord Tubbington into the fondue pot because, as the just-appearing subtitle informs us, "Lord Tubbington only eats HUMAN food!" Needless to say, both of Brittany's guests are thoroughly revolted by the sight of Brittany's Pussy scarfing down all that melted cheese, and Mercedes winces, "You just gonna let him do that?" "Lord Tubbington's allowed to eat cheese," Brit-Brit smiles, "because he's on Atkins!" Brittany gazes fondly at Her Pussy for a moment before realizing time's up, and she invites us to tune in again next week, when "we'll be dipping raw meat into boiling chocolate." They're talking about dick again, aren't they? Title card.