Music Room. The children are positively abuzz, for the latest edition of The Muckraker has landed in their hot little hands, and are they publishing that bullshit daily, or something? How many editions of that goddamned school newspaper have been issued since this episode began? Whatever. None of that is important at the moment because what is important at the moment is the fact that this latest edition contains a front-page story entitled, "Schuester Leaving McKinley?! Rumor Has It That Señor Schuester Is Bailing On His Kids For Broadway." Mr. Schue insists there's no truth to the article, and vows -- in so many words, suspiciously enough -- to accompany the children to Nationals. Just then, Lady Lips appears with The Urchins and announces he's decided upon the perfect song for their current assignment, and would the others mind giving him a hand with it out on the auditorium stage? Of course not!

Cut to the auditorium, and Sam's perfect song is, of course, "Don't Stop." Would it be churlish of me to note that Lauren Zizes is seriously cheating on the choreography in this number? Well, too bad, because I really don't have much else to say about it. I think the Clintons ruined this song for me forever. In any event, Orange April joins Will out in the audience, offering him the opportunity to look all conflicted and such -- again -- but I wouldn't read too much into that at this point. I mean, we'll have to wait until next week to see if they even remember she exists, right? Right. And so, everyone jumps around, with Puck and Gaylord Wiener hoisting Lady Lips onto their shoulders for a celebratory romp around the stage, and Finn and Rachel hog most of the lead vocals because that's just the way they roll, and then it's over. Hooray!

Next week: Jesse St. James! Jesse St. James! Swoon! That LTG is one lucky bitch.

Demian wants an animated GIF of Quinn slapping the crap out of Rachel. You may send the appropriate links to demian_twop@yahoo.com.