Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | Grade It Now!
More Placenta?

Fondue For Two! Fondue For Two! That's some! Hot! Dish! Fondue For Two! I'm going to have that theme song stomping around in my head for the next three months, aren't I? In any event, Brittany appears with the sad news that Santana cancelled on her at the last minute, so her guest for this episode of Fondue For Two will be none other than Lord Tubbington. "You know," she says, addressing Her Pussy, "just because we're doing this interview, doesn't mean I'm still not mad at you, 'cause I know you started smoking. Again." Brittany's Pussy, obviously in the throes of a massive nicotine fit, glares at us until it vanishes into the next commercial break.

Teacher's Lounge, and does anyone care about Emma's obsessive-compulsive disorder? Didn't think so. So, skipping past all that nonsense, we get to the bit wherein Emma admits she overheard what Orange April said to Will yesterday in the auditorium, and surprisingly enough, Emma's of the opinion that Will should ditch McKinley, pronto. I'd make a joke about even Emma wanting to rid herself of his tiresome ass, but Will's never bothered me as much as certain other characters on this show, even when I take into account his abject stupidity, so I'll simply note he remains deeply conflicted about the whole thing and move on to the next scene, okay?

Music Room. With a refreshing minimum of yammering, Rachel announces she'd like to put her own "feminine" twist on "Go Your Own Way," and she proceeds to do just that. Unfortunately, she directs the entire thing towards Frankenslut in a brutally misguided attempt to arouse his jealousy, or something, and as I stopped caring about their goddamned bullshit teen angst relationship crap about four episodes into the first season, I'm going to ignore her entire performance, pretty much. Once it's over, another screamy slapfight erupts between Quinn and Rachel, only this time no small amount of hostility gets blasted in Trouty Mouth's direction, and soon all of the other children start piling on the poor guy until he's forced to admit his Deep Dark Secret: His father lost his job "a few months ago," their house recently got repossessed by the bank, and now he and his entire family are crammed into that tiny Cabin Of Sin down at the American Family Motel. Kurt showed up only to deliver some cast-off clothing, Quinn stopped by to babysit his younger siblings, and is everybody happy now? Huh? HUH? Lady Lips flounces, leaving the others to flounder their collective way into this evening's next commercial break with guilt-stricken looks on their faces.

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