And now that I'm in absolutely no mood to listen to Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen's mighty tale of woe, I find myself forced to listen to Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen's mighty tale of woe. Long story short, his family moved to Ohio from Tennessee when his father got a better job, but when the economy tanked, so did the family's fortunes, and now here we are. Kurt first learned of the Von Bieberhausens' shameful secret when Lady Lips started delivering pizzas to Dalton -- which is two hours away from Lima, but whatever -- and Quinn found out because their families attend the same church. Quinn also revealed that Lady Lips hocked his guitar to help his parents pay for the motel room, so the entire Glee Club chipped in to buy it back for him. Lady Lips bursts into tears at this act of kindness, but like I said above: Fuck you, Glee. Shame, really. They finally give Chord Overstreet something to do, and it's this crap. Oh, well.
McKinley High Hallway, and oh, dear Lord. Santana's wearing overalls. She's just days away from getting herself a Maddow, isn't she? Poor thing. Anyway, Jewfro's chasing after her with a tape recorder, skeevily yelling something about Santana and Karofsky doing it in the backseat of a Corolla, or something like that. Santana, nothing if not expert at managing her press, pertly offers him a saucy, "No comment!" before continuing on her way. When Jewfro next attempts to trip her up with a trick question, however, Santana stops dead in her tracks and, with Brittany well within earshot, she offers him the following exclusive: "Dave and I are going strong, and we're very excited about our Prom King And Queen campaign." "So, you two are in love?" Jewfro prompts. "Soul mates, so to speak?" Brittany catches Santana's eye, and Santana has the good grace to look absolutely miserable for a moment before she regains her composure and replies, "Yeah, I'd say that was accurate." Poor Brit-Brit. Poor Santana. Christ, what a mess.
Music Room. The children are positively abuzz, for the latest edition of The Muckraker has landed in their hot little hands, and are they publishing that bullshit daily, or something? How many editions of that goddamned school newspaper have been issued since this episode began? Whatever. None of that is important at the moment because what is important at the moment is the fact that this latest edition contains a front-page story entitled, "Schuester Leaving McKinley?! Rumor Has It That Señor Schuester Is Bailing On His Kids For Broadway." Mr. Schue insists there's no truth to the article, and vows -- in so many words, suspiciously enough -- to accompany the children to Nationals. Just then, Lady Lips appears with The Urchins and announces he's decided upon the perfect song for their current assignment, and would the others mind giving him a hand with it out on the auditorium stage? Of course not!