Glee

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Demian: C- | Grade It Now!
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More Placenta?

Meanwhile, over at The Lima Bean, General Zod -- are we still supposed to be calling her that? Whatever -- meets up with The Honey Badger for a strategy session. Crazy Terri's discreetly clad in a modest beige trench coat while Sue's decided to masquerade as Ziggy Stardust for this portion of the evening's festivities, and I just can't deal with that at all at this point, so let's just listen in on their conversation, shall we? "I feel like my life finally has purpose!" Crazy Terri whispers excitedly, her eyes positively aglow with manic levels of insanity. "It's so nice to be part of a cause that's bigger than myself!" she continues. Whatever helps you make it through the day, Crazy Terri. The ladies order their refreshments -- hot tea for Terri, "a large cup of mocha powder" for Sue -- and after Sue pays for it all with a ten-Euro note, we learn of Sue's absolutely ludicrous scheme for this week. She's glommed on to the fact that Wikileaks has been in the news lately, so she's decided to resurrect McKinley High's print version of that site, The Muckraker. The newspaper, as we learn from Terri, was "discontinued two years ago due to lack of interest," and with that, we smear sideways to...

...a classroom, where we find Sue standing in front of Jewfro, Brit-Brit, Azimio, Becky, and a few random twentysomethings who apparently stopped by because they had nothing better to do that afternoon. "The newspaper is making a comeback!" Sue insists, wielding a yardstick like a scimitar as she does so. "And like print newspapers everywhere," she continues, "we're leaner and meaner -- no longer concerned with facts, fact checking, integrity, or facts!" Sounds like the new version of The Chicago Tribune to me, though to be fair, The New York Post has been operating like that for decades. In any event, The Muckraker's new motto? "If I Heard It, It's Probably True. Or Something." Okay, now it just sounds like Tumblr.

Either way, by the time we've smeared back to The Lima Bean, Sue's traded her Ziggy Stardust sparkles for a loud hound's-tooth jacket and a long, blonde wig, as she's pretty sure the barista's on to her, and is now therefore masquerading as Ann Coulter. Just go with it. It's so much easier when you just go with it. "Can I make an observation?" Crazy Terri asks. Knock yourself out, hon. "You're always trying to destroy Will from inside the Glee Club." True. "I would like to try getting him out of the Glee Club." Sue and I are listening. "Now, I was trolling the Internet last night, and I had an idea." And that idea would be...? Unfortunately, we don't find out right this instant, because the ladies must sip from their respective cups in a toast to Crazy Terri's as-yet-unspecified plan, which of course leaves Sue with a mocha powder moustache, and it's going to be a very, very long night.

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Glee

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