Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | Grade It Now!
More Placenta?

...the music room, where he gets all up in Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen's grille to scream, "What the hell is this, dude? "'What blondie former cheerleader,'" he reads aloud, much to the generalized consternation of everyone else present, "'is having a secret moonlight motel rendezvous with another big-lipped blondie'?" Grouper Mouth denies having anything to do with Quinn in recent weeks, and Quinn herself leaps to her feet to dismiss it all as idle gossip, but Finn's not buying it -- especially because he's been a big ol' lying slut himself in the past -- and just as things are nicely escalating between the three of them, Santana comes storming in through the other door to upbraid Brit-Brit for telling everyone she plays for another team. "You do play on another team!" poor dim Brit-Brit protests, explaining, "You were on the Cheerios, and now you're only in the New Directions." "And you couldn't have thought of any other way to say that?" Santana howls. Meanwhile, Finn's started shoving Lady Lips around, and Mr. Schue arrives from elsewhere to break it all up, and Frankenslut lurches on out of there in a massive huff, and gee, they're all kind of reminding me of a certain infamously coked-up British-American rock band from the mid-'70s at this point, but that's got to be a coincidence, right? Right?

Chez Schue. Orange April lights a couple of candles, pops the cork on a bottle of Chablis, and announces that dinner is served. Will, of course, was under the mistaken impression that "dinner" actually meant "food," but as "Mama drinks her dinner these days," he'll be having Chablis, or he'll be having nothing at all. Atta girl. None of that really matters, though, because the point of the scene that follows is actually this: Will's troubled by the infighting amongst the Glee Clubbers, what with all the "whispering and back-stabbing and love triangles and questions of sexuality" and such, and he doesn't quite know what to do about it, because he is a moron. Orange April, of course, immediately diagnoses a case of "The Mac" and, after she gifts the ignorant infants in the audience with a brief history of the band in question, Will excitedly hops up from the table to dig out his LP of Rumours. He's stoked, you see, because he's "wanted to do a lesson devoted to a single album for a long time" and, given New Directions' recent troubles, he now has the perfect excuse to do so. I should probably note that when Will sets the needle down on the album, he intentionally skips "Second Hand News" to head straight to "Dreams," which makes for a smooth transition into the...

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