Meanwhile, back at McKinley, Bloaty the Gravy Clown's assembled both The Glee Club and The Glee Club's back-up orchestra in the boys' locker room for Single-T Tina's Ladies' Choice performance and with little further ado -- mainly because Coach Beiste needs the locker room back at 4:30 -- Tina takes the floor to perform her version of "I Don't Know How To Love Him" from Jesus Christ Superstar. "Who do you think she's asking?" Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen whispers to Artie, the latter of whom confidently replies, "The only obvious choice in the room: The charming, debonair figure from her past -- the forbidden love she let slip through her fingers!" "So... Unique?" Lady Lips guesses. I haven't a clue why I find that amusing, but I do. Hee!
Even more amusing is the actual identity of Single-T Tina's intended: Dreamboat Blaine. Oh, Tina! Not that I blame her, of course, but still. As soon as Tina launches herself into her terribly sweet rendition of the song, we swing through a series of flashbacks that detail the terribly sad birth and blossoming of her hopeless crush on the crunchy-haired gay boy, from the moment Blaine placed a friendly arm around her shoulders during a wacky bit of rambunctious teenage hijinks in the high school's cafeteria, to Tina doodling "Tina + Blaine = BLATINA 4 EVER" in her notebook, to Tina staring all dreamy-eyed at Blaine's denim-clad ass in Algebra class. Back in the locker room, she directs a laser-like focus on the utterly and hilariously oblivious object of her misplaced affections until even dumbass Bloaty the Gravy Clown realizes what's going on. After Tina finishes the number with a hopeful little smile on her face, Old Finn leads the assembled children in a rousing round of desperate-sounding applause, apparently hoping the noise will distract Tina from her doomed mission. This cunning ploy of Bloaty's doesn't work, of course, and Tina steps up to the still-clueless Blaine and asks him to the dance. "Um...no?" he warily replies, clearly both thrown and embarrassed by this delightfully squirm-inducing turn of events. "Thank you?" he adds, flummoxed. Poor Tina's face collapses into this evening's first commercial break and while I'm not particularly fond of the way Tina keeps getting dumped on over and over again, that sequence was the first time I've felt honestly engaged in anything that's been happening with this show's high school contingent in what feels like months, so good for them.