Sadie Hawkins

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 1 USERS: B+
A Hard Pill to Swallow

...The Hallowed Halls Of Dear McKinley High, where Artie, Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen, New Puck and New Finn chit-chat about the upcoming Sadie Hawkins dance for a bit until that intriguing mute Cheerio with the neck brace materializes to give New Finn and His Shoulders the eye. Atta girl.

Teachers' Lounge. Coach Beiste arm-wrestles one of her elderly colleagues into submission before turning to offer her sympathies to Old Finn over his recent loss of the music room. Bloaty the Gravy Clown leaps at this opportunity to mope that he's running out of ideas to keep the children engaged now that they've been disqualified from actual competitions for the remainder of the school year, so wise Coach Beiste suggests he take advantage of tonight's supposedly "empowering" Sadie Hawkins theme by having the Glee Gals do a Ladies' Choice. Quite naturally, Old Finn finds this an excellent idea and he wastes little time rushing to the group's next meeting, where he tasks each Glee Gal with singing a song to the Glee Guy she'd like to take to the dance. Because attendance at this impromptu Winter Formal is now mandatory apparently and because God knows the Glee Gals can't socialize outside of this particularly restricted group of theirs. Whatever. Several romantically fraught glances immediately bounce around the room, but we'll deal with those later. Maybe.

Improbably Bohemian Bushwick Loft. St. Gay is modestly scandalized when Old Idiot Rachel enters the loft's early morning breakfast nook with news that Dean Geyer spent the night in her boudoir, but the real point of the conversation that follows is this: According to Rachel, St. Gay will be committing "social and career suicide" by joining Fake Drama School's show choir, as the college's "rigid performing arts hierarchy" that we've never heard about prior to this episode views Adam's Apples as "the lowest of the low" -- beneath stage managers even, for Christ's sweet sake. "If you do show choir in college," she darkly warns, "you might as well be doomed to a life of playing a dancing teapot at Disneyland." St. Gay gay-gasps while I try desperately to dredge up any kind of interest at all in this tiresome subplot. Didn't he already acquire a non-Rachel Manhattan social circle for himself over at Mode? So why is this a thing tonight, then? WHATEVER.

Meanwhile, back at McKinley, Bloaty the Gravy Clown's assembled both The Glee Club and The Glee Club's back-up orchestra in the boys' locker room for Single-T Tina's Ladies' Choice performance and with little further ado -- mainly because Coach Beiste needs the locker room back at 4:30 -- Tina takes the floor to perform her version of "I Don't Know How To Love Him" from Jesus Christ Superstar. "Who do you think she's asking?" Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen whispers to Artie, the latter of whom confidently replies, "The only obvious choice in the room: The charming, debonair figure from her past -- the forbidden love she let slip through her fingers!" "So... Unique?" Lady Lips guesses. I haven't a clue why I find that amusing, but I do. Hee!

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