...Lord Tubbington demonstrates his excellent plate-stacking skills right before we head into this evening's next commercial break. Hee! He's even got a little feather duster attached to his tail. Though why Lord Tubbington is stacking plates in Will Schuester's kitchen, I'll never know.
And when we return, Mr. Schue drags Frankenteen into a vacant classroom for what is admittedly the central scene of tonight's episode, but as this show beat whatever sympathy I might have had for these characters to death about a year ago, I'm not gonna spend a whole lot of time on it. Basically, Finn's afraid to grow up -- which: get the fuck over it, doll -- so Mr. Schue pops a handy VHS bootleg of Saturday Night Fever into an equally-handy VCR and, after spouting a few more meaningless platitudes, he leaves Finn alone to figure out a Dream For The Future. No, I don't know why dear old McKinley High has random VHS tapes of R-rated movies from the 1970s lying around its classrooms, so don't ask. Though now that I think about it, Frankenteen could score some excellent employment ideas from The Deer Hunter, so if there's a copy of that somewhere...? What's that? There isn't? You sure? Well, shit.
Library. Some random stoner dude professes his undying love for Santana Lopez, the latter of whom looks like she's ready to kick him until he's dead. Unfortunately, before that can happen, Our Miss Brit-Brit bounds in with a crayoned list of additional fame-related goals for her girlfriend, for as Brittany herself notes, "Now that we've got your boob in the door, we can't rest." In order for Santana to achieve Jersey Shore levels of fame "without all the blackout drinking," Brit-Brit proposes Santana pursue gigs on reality competition shows like Hoarders or Fear Factor. In fact, Brittany's gone so far as to drive "all the way to Spencerville" in order to procure a pair of bull testicles just so Santana can practice putting "crazy stuff" in her mouth. No comment. Santana makes a face, so Brit-Brit gives her an affectionate peck on the cheek and coos, "Just let me know how far you're willing to go for fame!" before skipping on out of there.
Elsewhere, St. Gay Of Lima and Mercedes tiptoe into the backstage dressing area for Other Regionals, where they presently accost Not-So-Unique and beg her not to go through with her radical costuming choice for Vocal Adrenaline's performance. Not-So-Unique, who's sporting boy clothes at the moment, basically tells them to go to hell, and it's at this point that the sorely-underused Jesse St. James arrives to escort "The Laziest Person Alive" and "The Pasty-Faced Ghost Boy" from the premises for spying. "We're not spies!" Mercedes snaps. "We're friends of Wade's!" "Really?" Jesse St. James blithely replies before smirking, "All the more reason to fire him after the show!" and I think I'm supposed to boo and hiss here, but to be honest with you, I'm too busy staring at Jonathan Groff's eminently mackable hair at the moment to care. And then the announcer guy welcomes Vocal Adrenaline "from Carmel High in Akron" and my head explodes, because Akron is a hundred and sixty goddamned miles away from Lima, and... and... oh, fuck it. Sucky LTG can deal with that particular logistic impossibility when he gets back from his sucky trip to sucky Paris. The bastard.