Saturday Night Glee-ver

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | Grade It Now!
"I'm Sick Of Guys Who Ain't Got Their Shit Together."

...Mercedes's Voiceover kicks in to complain, "Where does Mr. Schue get off telling me I don't have a dream?" We've ducked out to the hallowed halls of dear McKinley High, where Mercedes herself moves through the teeming clots of her peers in graceful slow-motion as her voiceover continues, "Just because I don't want to rush off to New York like Berry and star in a revival of Sister Act doesn't mean I don't know what I want to do with my life." Wait a minute: "Revival" of Sister Act? That mess just opened last year. Shut up, Mercedes's Voiceover. Mercedes's Voiceover of course refuses to listen to me and it continues, "I'm sorry, but having a dream isn't the problem -- I have the dream, I just don't know how to get there." "So make no mistake," Mercedes's Voiceover concludes, "Mercedes Jones has desire and ambition so hot, it's a freaking inferno."

Cue the third -- and most conveniently inferno-themed -- song of the evening, "Disco Inferno" by The Trammps, as of course performed by Mercedes, with backup from Santana and Brittany. It begins in another hallway-based fantasy sequence, with the gals grinding along as dozens of their apparently clueless classmates carry on with their boring routines, but the three soon march themselves into the music room to present the bulk of the routine atop the brightly-blinking 2001 Odyssey dance floor and I probably don't have to say this, but Amber Riley kills it. She also looks quite fetching in her '70s-style red dress and her Studio 54 hair with the big gold accessories and such, and she even does a much better job with the choreography than we're used to seeing from her. But those of you who have already watched this episode (in other words, all of you) know she's not going to be winning Number Of The Evening tonight, despite her best efforts. Oh, and it would be remiss of me were I not to note that the camera catches Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen recording the entire routine on his phone, for reasons that will be made apparent towards the close of this evening's presentation.

The gals end their performance with matching sets of utterly inexplicable spirit fingers, and when it's done -- and despite her previously-voiced distaste with Mr. Schue's insulting assignment -- Mercedes obediently follows this week's lesson plan by announcing to all and sundry that her dream is to "inspire people" like "Mariah, Miss Whitney and Miss Aretha" by singing "big, fat, juicy number-one hits." Unfortunately, she admits, she hasn't the first clue how to achieve said dream, as she knows nothing about the music business and she's terrified of moving to Los Angeles and her parents aren't likely to support what they consider to be a bad idea in the first place. Perhaps most cripplingly, though, she's well aware of the fact that while she's "the cream" in tiny little landlocked Lima, her talents might rate her as no better than "skim milk" on the coasts. The other children shift uncomfortably in their seats at this, for they all apparently harbor the same dark doubts about themselves (as well most of them should), with the exception of the ever-loyal Lady Lips, who eyes Mercedes thoughtfully before refocusing his attention on the recording he's just made.

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