Anyway, Santana does not run, but instead attempts to level with Brit-Brit like so: "Look, let's be clear, here -- I'm not interested in any labels, unless it's on something I shoplift." Unfortunately, Brittany won't let it drop. "I think we should talk to somebody," she insists as forcefully as she can, by which I mean she's being her usual listless self about it all. "Like an adult," she suggests before concluding, "This relationship is really confusing for me." "Breakfast is confusing for you!" Santana points out. "Well," Brittany explains, "sometimes it's sweet, and sometimes it's salty, like, what if I have eggs for dinner -- then what is it?" Santana just stares at Brittany for a very long moment before turning back to her bed to adjust her rumpled duet.

Meanwhile, over in the McKinley library, Puck and Lauren have fired up Kim Kardashian's sex tape on Lauren's laptop so they might glean a few style pointers from an acknowledged master of the craft. And as they enthuse over Kim's luxurious Egyptian cotton linens, Gwyneth Paltrow wanders on over from points unknown to wonder what gives. Puck and Lauren give her the short version of the story, and while Gwyneth is most impressed indeed by their ambition, it is her sad duty to inform them that, should they carry through with their plan, they'd be guilty of producing child pornography. You know, because they're under eighteen. Stop laughing. No, seriously: Stop laughing -- Lauren and Puck are, like, totally fifteen years old, you guys!