Glee

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Tensies For Menses

Wow. Completely forgot about this scene. Will's enlisted Gwyneth Paltrow's aid to transform Prince's "Kiss" into a tango, and after a few preliminaries in the music room with the ever-mute members of the McKinley High Jazz Ensemble, we shoot over to an elaborate fantasy sequence on the auditorium stage, where Will and Gwyneth -- accompanied by three or four other couples -- run through Prince's "Kiss" as a tango. I'm not crazy about it. Setting aside the fact that "Kiss" is far from my favorite Prince song, if there's one style of dance that cries out for lengthy, steady, full-body shots of the performers involved, it's the tango, and the jittery, jumpy, chopped-up shots they produced for this sequence just aren't cutting it for me. Of course, I am well aware that they likely chose those jittery, jumpy, chopped-up shots to mask the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow can't dance for shit, but still: Get Gwyneth a passable body double, or don't bother doing the number in the first place. And aside from that, all of the supporting couples -- in this episode, where the two major subplots feature hot-and-heavy boy-on-boy and girl-on-girl action -- are opposite-sex. Just saying, it would have been nice to have some same-sex pairings twirling away in the background. Yeah, I know it's Will and Gwyneth's fantasy we're watching, here, and their collective subconscious likely wouldn't conjure up a pair like these two when they're trying so desperately to get into each other's entirely heterosexual pants, but if we go down that path and assume that level of realism in this fantasy sequence, then we'd expect Gwynnie to know how to frigging dance in her own dream ballet, am I right?

Anyway, when it's over, we snap back to the music room to find Will and Gwyneth hiking their tongues down each other's throats right there in front of the McKinley High Jazz Ensemble, who I would assume have been struck dumb by the wholly inappropriate display now unfolding in front of their horrified eyes were it not for the fact that they've never talked in the first place. Long story short, Will pleads for Gwyneth to give him some, but she pushes him away because he's too sweet and innocent, or something like that. Commercials.

Hummel Tires And Lube. Well, that's what the banner says, at any rate. Dreamboat Blaine bumbles his way across the shop floor and basically guilts Burt Hummel into having The Talk with his son. It's an incredibly stupid way to set up the conversation that follows -- I mean, why on earth would Burt Hummel accept parenting advice from this a cappella bozo who's less than half his age when there's a perfectly good PFLAG chapter right there in town? -- but the payoff is one of the best father and son scenes they've ever aired on this show, so again: I'm letting it slide.

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Glee

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