In the boys meeting, some jock is asking Finn how far Quinn lets him go. Finn admits to making out and grinding. J-Fro asks him if he doesn't ever have a problem with premature arrival: "Whenever I grind, Cinco de Mayo." The French army is defeated in his pants? That is tragic. Finn tells him that early arrival is no problem for him, and he high-fives Puck. In his voice-over, he tells him that it's a big problem. He's been told that to avoid "erupting too early, you should think of dead kittens and stuff." Really? Dead kittens? Regular fuzzy little kittens and puppies aren't enough? Apparently, neither live nor dead kittens work for Finn. The only image that helps him out happened when he was getting a driving lesson from his mother. Flashback to Finn driving along with his mother. He's never seemed more special needs than when he tells her "driving's fun." And then he runs into the mailman, who smashes their windshield on the way over the car. Finn's mother starts screaming: "Oh my God, you killed him! What are you gonna do?" Ah, maternal instinct.
Quinn finishes blowing up a balloon. Each girl is holding a balloon, and Quinn tells all of the girls and boys (now in one room) that they are going to pair up for the "immaculate affection." Which involves them standing face-to-face with a balloon pressed between their crotches. The object is to not cause the balloon to pop. Which I guess would happen if the boys get an erection? Maybe all the teen boys in this town have genital piercings. Anyway, Rachel is paired with J-Fro, and she is not at all polite as he waddles over to her and tells her that she enchants him. Puck starts pumping and grinding on his balloon. And then Finn's balloon pops, to Quinn's chagrin. Rachel backs away from J-Fro and tells them all that this entire exercise is stupid, since celibacy doesn't work for teens. If they want to take care of themselves, they need to know about contraception. Quinn: "Don't you dare mention the c-word." Looking straight at Finn, Rachel tells the boys, "You want to know a dirty little secret that none of them want you to know? Girls want sex just as much as guys do." Rachel leaves, and J-Fro asks the room at large if that is accurate.
It's after school hours, and Will is scraping gum from under a student's desk. Emma walks by the room, sees him, and asks him if he's a janitor. He denies it, but the jumpsuit with his name on it is pretty damning evidence. (Hey, overeducated forum posters -- what's the history of embroidered name patches on the uniforms of the working class? No lawyer ever walked into court with a name patch on the lapel of his suit. Where did this come from?) Will is embarrassed that he and Terri are having money problems, and asks Emma not to tell anyone about his nocturnal activities. She offers to help (which will just make the janitor's union even more angry). Confronted with her superior knowledge of how to clean, Will lets her hang out.