Assembly, in the gym. Principal Figgins tells the dead-silent assembled kids to please be silent. Before the program, he has an announcement -- the toilets are broken again, but notwithstanding that fact he warns of strict punishment for anyone who soils school grounds again. (Sue has a slightly guilty look at that.) Figgins introduces Will, who tells the assembled kids that instead of telling them how great Glee Club is, he'll let some friends show them. Before the performance, Sue looks might pleased with herself. But then the curtain comes up, and the Glee kids start performing a down and dirty version of "Push It," by Salt-n-Pepa. Complete with knee pads, bumping and grinding, and simulated oral sex. Will and Sue each have disturbed looks on their faces as they watch. Emma does a little chair dance along with the music. And Principal Figgins closes his eyes and sways along, while tapping his foot to the rhythm. Quinn is disturbed to see Finn dancing so sexily with Rachel, and Puck is disturbed to see Kurt slap Finn's ass. (Finn seems a little disturbed by this last one as well.) I must note that while Rachel ordinarily looks quite cute in those high-waisted Jackie Kennedy-esque skirts she wears, she seems to have decided to wear this enormous denim number up under her armpits. It looks insanely bad. The song finishes, and the room is dead quiet. Until J-Fro has what appears to be an early arrival of his own, as he leaps to his feet and screams out "Yes!" Which leads to everyone except the cheerleaders and football players giving the song a standing ovation.
Cut to the principal's office. Figgins, Sue and Will all sit there silently. Sue offers to break the silence -- I'm surprised there was any silence to break, with her in the room. She thinks that was the most disturbing thing she's seen in 20 years of teaching, "including an elementary school production of Hair." Figgins noted that he received a number of angry e-mails from parents who thought their kids were going to be hearing an inspirational message from a Special Olympian. Which... makes me think some joke got left on the cutting room floor. Sue's first thought was that Will's students "should be put into foster care." But she's decided she'd be happy if Will resigned his post and the Glee Club was disbanded. Figgins thinks this is too hasty, since the kids were obviously talented. Since the problem is one of content, he took the liberty of asking his pastor for a list of family-friendly songs. He gives Will the list (it's printed on American flag stationery), and tells him those are the only songs they're allowed to sing. Will: "But, all these songs have either Jesus or balloons in the title." Figgins: "But there are also songs about the circus!" Figgins also thinks the gleeks need new costumes, so he's cutting the Cheerios dry-cleaning budget to pay for it. Sue: "This will not stand!" Figgins: "Oh, Sue, the dry cleaners here are just as good as the ones in Europe."